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Terrible sex life, don't know what to do.

Cito33189

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This is very embarrassing for me but I don't know what to do.
I have been with my current girlfriend for 5 1/2 years we get along great definitely my best friend. I am very very attracted to her she is the perfect girl for me 100% italian black hair tan skin huge implants and nice big ass. She has never been a huge sex freak or sexual person. It has always been the last thing on her mind. She is currently in nursing school and getting ready to graduate her schedule is hectic and I understand completely. But we never ever have sex any more. An estimate would be since the new year probably 5 times. I am 24 she is 22. I don't want to be an asshole I bring it up sometimes and shell say shes tired and she has to study or wake up early and shes stressed. So I dont push the subject on her. I feel like I am crawling out of my skin sometimes shell walk around the house naked out of the shower and I am so horny I want to throw up. I hate watching porn my g/f is so hott I just want to have sex with her. It's starting to take a toll on my self-esteem I ask her if shes attracted to me she says yes. I ask her if I am bad in bed she says no shes just tired and stressed and I dont understand. Our lease is up in May and its so bad I am debating on whether or not to break up with her. I refuse to cheat on her because I would be crushed if she cheated on me. But this has taken a toll on me and I dont know what to do. Am i being an idiot is she right is it me?
 

testoboost

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22 and she is not interested in sex? 5 times in the past year? Some people have low drive but at 22 even with school she be interested in it a lot more. One bit of advice, if at 22 her drive is in the gutter it will be non-existent at 32. And that old saying, once you marry them? It is true.
 

ericraven2003

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This is very embarrassing for me but I don't know what to do.
I have been with my current girlfriend for 5 1/2 years we get along great definitely my best friend. I am very very attracted to her she is the perfect girl for me 100% italian black hair tan skin huge implants and nice big ass. She has never been a huge sex freak or sexual person. It has always been the last thing on her mind. She is currently in nursing school and getting ready to graduate her schedule is hectic and I understand completely. But we never ever have sex any more. An estimate would be since the new year probably 5 times. I am 24 she is 22. I don't want to be an asshole I bring it up sometimes and shell say shes tired and she has to study or wake up early and shes stressed. So I dont push the subject on her. I feel like I am crawling out of my skin sometimes shell walk around the house naked out of the shower and I am so horny I want to throw up. I hate watching porn my g/f is so hott I just want to have sex with her. It's starting to take a toll on my self-esteem I ask her if shes attracted to me she says yes. I ask her if I am bad in bed she says no shes just tired and stressed and I dont understand. Our lease is up in May and its so bad I am debating on whether or not to break up with her. I refuse to cheat on her because I would be crushed if she cheated on me. But this has taken a toll on me and I dont know what to do. Am i being an idiot is she right is it me?

Possible things:
1- She isn't into you anymore.
2- She is dealing with depression.
3- Possible hormone problems
4- One of the small minority females that are just not into sex. In the early twenties, this not a good sign. Sex is very important to a realtionship.
 

NY Muscle

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what about a little romance? getting her in the mood.

Bingo, take it from me a married guy, you now have to put in your dues to get it, you gotta do all that cuddling shit and watch tv together (I just through up in my mouth a little bit) and she will be putty in your hands, you gotta put in the time just don't approach it like hey wanna bang.
 

Cito33189

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Bingo, take it from me a married guy, you now have to put in your dues to get it, you gotta do all that cuddling shit and watch tv together (I just through up in my mouth a little bit) and she will be putty in your hands, you gotta put in the time just don't approach it like hey wanna bang.

Very true. She has actually said I am not a machine and you dont cuddle with me or show me affection anymore. I do lack in the romance department big time... I need to step up my game
 

Tyrone

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I'd take the romance advice. However, I'd also take hormones into consideration. I'm no expert on females lol but, I'd have a full blood panel done on her by a primary care Dr. at first...Just to see what he says at first and is aware of the issue at the same time.
 

Goody

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22 and she is not interested in sex? 5 times in the past year? Some people have low drive but at 22 even with school she be interested in it a lot more. One bit of advice, if at 22 her drive is in the gutter it will be non-existent at 32. And that old saying, once you marry them? It is true.

This...Im dealing with it now with my wife and it fucking sucks...oh and I do all the romance stuff too...Im fire, shes ice..thats all there is too it..a compatible sex drive is HUGE in the sustainability of a serious relationship..I wish I had known that 6 years ago..good luck bro.
 

juiced13

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Guys this sounds alot like my wife. LOL we had the same prob hell i even went somewhere else to get my fix but that still didnt fix any prob at home. She knows what i do (dvdS) and was willing to give it a try. I let her watch a really short film every wk about prop on 25min long and man did it help she wouldnt stay off me the stages turned around. So i believe my wifes prob was hormones messed up..
 

BallBuster

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This is very embarrassing for me but I don't know what to do.
I have been with my current girlfriend for 5 1/2 years we get along great definitely my best friend. I am very very attracted to her she is the perfect girl for me 100% italian black hair tan skin huge implants and nice big ass. She has never been a huge sex freak or sexual person. It has always been the last thing on her mind. She is currently in nursing school and getting ready to graduate her schedule is hectic and I understand completely. But we never ever have sex any more. An estimate would be since the new year probably 5 times. I am 24 she is 22. I don't want to be an asshole I bring it up sometimes and shell say shes tired and she has to study or wake up early and shes stressed. So I dont push the subject on her. I feel like I am crawling out of my skin sometimes shell walk around the house naked out of the shower and I am so horny I want to throw up. I hate watching porn my g/f is so hott I just want to have sex with her. It's starting to take a toll on my self-esteem I ask her if shes attracted to me she says yes. I ask her if I am bad in bed she says no shes just tired and stressed and I dont understand. Our lease is up in May and its so bad I am debating on whether or not to break up with her. I refuse to cheat on her because I would be crushed if she cheated on me. But this has taken a toll on me and I dont know what to do. Am i being an idiot is she right is it me?

wow, u were 19 and she 17 when u first got together? Were you her first sexual experience? Does she own a vibrator? If not take her to a toy store and pick up some goodies;)... seriously most woman do not orgasm until mid to late 20's, mostly cuz they are afraid to masturbate. Give her some time to explore with the toy on her own until she finds what works for her then u can put it to use when u are together and she is comfortable. Woman will have sex even if they don't orgasm cuz of the closeness and feeling needed BUT the anticipation of an orgasm is a great motivator!:D Sex is a stress reliever so she can use it to her benefit if she is feeling stressed.
 

jt4330

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wow, u were 19 and she 17 when u first got together? Were you her first sexual experience? Does she own a vibrator? If not take her to a toy store and pick up some goodies;)... seriously most woman do not orgasm until mid to late 20's, mostly cuz they are afraid to masturbate. Give her some time to explore with the toy on her own until she finds what works for her then u can put it to use when u are together and she is comfortable. Woman will have sex even if they don't orgasm cuz of the closeness and feeling needed BUT the anticipation of an orgasm is a great motivator!:D Sex is a stress reliever so she can use it to her benefit if she is feeling stressed.

The stress part is very true. Some times my gf who is 21 btw wants sex just because she had a very stressful day. My gf has a VERY busy schedule which probably matches your girl; no doubt, internship,job,college. I would up the romance because i also some times get the ohh you don't cuddle,hug me,kiss me, or get me in the mood to have sex. So, I up my game in that department as well. I have no idea how you have gone with only doing it 5 times this year.

I am guessing you have been on some sort of test, jeeze I would of busted a nut on her sleeping! Have 'sex days or sex sessions" as i like to call them with your girl. I give her money and she buys outfits where we role play and what not. spice it up and find out because it has to be more than just tired/busy!!!!!!!!
 

Cito33189

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^
When we met i was a senior in highschool 18 and she was 16 going on to juinior year. It really isnt a simple fix such as a vibrator weve used them shes used them and dosent like them. Its not like all of a sudden our sex life stopped she just was never into it shes just not a sexual person hates porn hates graphic material talking about sex. Ive never met someone like this. I think some of the guys are right about her hormones because some types of birth control shell have sex alot then others no. She hates to give head. I think ive just noticed this alot more because of my elevating testosterone levels. I debate with myself is this a legitimate reason to leave her other than the sex shes all i could ask for goes above and beyond for me and super supportive if i left her for sex alone i'd feel like it was a mistake
 

BallBuster

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^
When we met i was a senior in highschool 18 and she was 16 going on to juinior year. It really isnt a simple fix such as a vibrator weve used them shes used them and dosent like them. Its not like all of a sudden our sex life stopped she just was never into it shes just not a sexual person hates porn hates graphic material talking about sex. Ive never met someone like this. I think some of the guys are right about her hormones because some types of birth control shell have sex alot then others no. She hates to give head. I think ive just noticed this alot more because of my elevating testosterone levels. I debate with myself is this a legitimate reason to leave her other than the sex shes all i could ask for goes above and beyond for me and super supportive if i left her for sex alone i'd feel like it was a mistake

WHAT!? never heard of a woman not liking a vibrator... having a lot of sex is one thing but is she reaching orgasm? If she's not able to orgasm then sex does become a lot of work for no pay off and it eventually becomes less inviting. Sounds like she may have some psychological hang ups regarding sex, if she doesn't even like talking about it? It's gonna be a huge problem if she is not willing to seek help for it and it is in her best interest to do so cuz regardless of who she is with it will be a problem. Check things medically and then I would think the next step would be a sex therapist or some sort of counseling.
 

Cito33189

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I know i thought the vibrator was hot def a turn on for me then shell come out with why do you want me to use a vibrator wen i have you makes me seem like i have issues. I think your right maybe counsling if i bring that up shell think im nuts. its hormones i know it is makes perfect sense.
 

phreak

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maybe hormones, maybe stress... but you have said many times that she just isn't a sexual person.

someone else asked if she has ever had an orgasm.. has she? have you given her one?

if she has, and you have... then maybe she just isn't sexual. or maybe she is getting it somewhere else. hot italian chick with huge tits and a big ass? i'm sure she gets lots of attention. nursing school? interning around doctors?

not trying to focus on something bad, but hmmmm...

either way, you are not getting what you want. try to do what you can if you feel things are worth salvaging, but don't be blinded. be honest with yourself and move on if you have to. you are way to young to put up with that crap bro.

there are a LOT of women out there with big tits and round asses. i know i would go crazy around a hot chick who wouldn't let me fuck her as i am a very sexual person and i go gorilla around a big ass :D
 

juced_porkchop

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Possible things:
1- She isn't into you anymore.
2- She is dealing with depression.
3- Possible hormone problems
4- One of the small minority females that are just not into sex. In the early twenties, this not a good sign. Sex is very important to a realtionship.

say its number 2 and i was in same boat and thinking of cheating (cant leaver her even if i wanted to) what would you say?
ina way to save the relationship?

sorry to hijack thread but its kinda close, but your story is almost like mine besides the age and job lol
 

S2N

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Hate to say it bro but u gotta dump her its not gonna get better
 

max_rep

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i am in the similiar position.We are married for 4 years.I work in a factory my wife runs our own gym.I wake up at 6 am she 8 am i go to work before her.Then she goes to gym.She works alone in the gym.She does everything until i come form work at 7 pm.We then work together until 10 pm.I also workout at 8:30 pm.When we get home we are death.We both in a depression from too much work.We have to work to pay to bank and other bills.We have not sex for a year.After a while you do not want to touch anymore.She becoms your homemate.We do not cheat.We love each other but something prevent us to have sex.I do not know what it is.
The thing is to put your marriage at first place.Everything comes second.I believe that when we finish the bank i will be free to be in the gym with her.This will make use relax and will start again.
 

Tyrone

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I didn't even read it all...However, to me at least, it sounds like your girl doesn't know how to get herself 'off'.....The most I can relate to was over a decade ago with my ex-gf.

She had a hard time getting off because she didn't even know what worked for herself nor how to do it on her own. Trust me that it took many hours to help her so that she could cum finally...Even her older sister called her a 'prude' in the begining.;)


I say, keep shooting test...get some viagra...You both take showers...And you eat her out all day long until she is ready for penetration.

WIN WIN situation hopefully...Other than that, its hormones.
 
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