What's important to you?

kandaandm · Aug 22, 2008

Well....My father past away tonight. He was 73 years old and lived a full life. It was too short, but he had done more in those 73 years then somebody would do in double those years. I'm the youngest of his 3 sons and he used to love to tell people that I was his littlest (instead of referring to me as his youngest). People would always say "If he's your littlest I'd hate to see your biggest". He always got a kick out of that.

He was a fighter and a tough bastard. He'd survived multiple stabbings, a plane crash into the bottom of a northern NY Lake, being shot at, fighting multiple people at once, recovering from back surgery 35 yrs ago that should have left him paralysed...He was a tough guy and a mountain of a man at 73 yrs old 6'5" and 260lbs...even in the hospital towards the end when he was in ICU and on morphine..they had to strap him to the bed because he wanted to sign himself out and leave. He was trying to rip free from the straps and stumble out of bed.

I'm ramble'n on here...and just kind of trying to release some of my emotions, but what I really wanted to say was that no matter how strong or tough you think you are...you're not going to beat death. It comes whether you want it to or not

So if you think being the biggest bodybuilder, having the nicest car or owning the biggest house are the most important things in life....they're not. In the end you can't take any of this shit with you. It's the relationships you have with your loved ones and friends that matter most.

Ok...I'm done preaching...sorry I'm just releasing some steam guys....

maldorf · Aug 22, 2008

kandaandm said:
Well....My father past away tonight. He was 73 years old and lived a full life. It was too short, but he had done more in those 73 years then somebody would do in double those years. I'm the youngest of his 3 sons and he used to love to tell people that I was his littlest (instead of referring to me as his youngest). People would always say "If he's your littlest I'd hate to see your biggest". He always got a kick out of that.

He was a fighter and a tough bastard. He'd survived multiple stabbings, a plane crash into the bottom of a northern NY Lake, being shot at, fighting multiple people at once, recovering from back surgery 35 yrs ago that should have left him paralysed...He was a tough guy and a mountain of a man at 73 yrs old 6'5" and 260lbs...even in the hospital towards the end when he was in ICU and on morphine..they had to strap him to the bed because he wanted to sign himself out and leave. He was trying to rip free from the straps and stumble out of bed.

I'm ramble'n on here...and just kind of trying to release some of my emotions, but what I really wanted to say was that no matter how strong or tough you think you are...you're not going to beat death. It comes whether you want it to or not

So if you think being the biggest bodybuilder, having the nicest car or owning the biggest house are the most important things in life....they're not. In the end you can't take any of this shit with you. It's the relationships you have with your loved ones and friends that matter most.

Ok...I'm done preaching...sorry I'm just releasing some steam guys....

Very timely post. I just suffered a heart attack at 38 and have been forced to rethink my priorities. I am very sorry to hear of your loss. My father is about the same age now and I know how struck I would be if he passed.

Sal Paradise · Aug 22, 2008

Sorry to hear about your father. My deepest condolences.

Something like this does make a person stop and check their priorities.

Sal

james001 · Aug 22, 2008

life is very temporary... do something great with it while you're here. sorry for your loss.

oldfella · Aug 22, 2008

Very sorry for your loss. Your post makes a very valid point, one which many of us here will understand. I lost my father at a young age in bad circumstances and he was a tough bastard too. Not tougher than a bullet though. So yes, it is about the relationships that you make, the ones you keep, the ones you throw away and the ones you leave behind. Thank you for sharing with us and we hear you! May your father rest in peace!

Pekkerwood · Aug 22, 2008

I am sorry for your loss. It sounds like you had a good ride with your father. That is a tough one though, no doubt, especially with the "larger than life" guys.

It is difficult to believe most of us take such a hard wake up call to truly appreciate every day and understand priorities. It took multiple kicks to the head for me to truly "get it". At least I think I get it. I think one of the problems is that everytime we say something it can sound so cliche even if its true.

That "live each day like its your last, one day you will be right", is so true. What you mentioned about the money, houses, cars is spot on. I like them but I would give them all up for family, my best friend, and believe it or not my Chihuahuas.

Again I am truly sorry for the loss suffered by you and your family but more and more I guess I'm discovering these are the things that make us mature as men. My thoughts are with you this morning.

Pekkerwood

pimpman · Aug 22, 2008

man im so sorry for your lost.my prayer and condolece go out to you and your family.so sorry bro.

Phidias · Aug 22, 2008

kandaandm said:
It's the relationships you have with your loved ones and friends that matter most.

So true.

May your father rest in peace bro.

fsm · Aug 22, 2008

My condolences, ultimately we are all orphans. Me and my younger brother were always my dads "little boys" even after we towered over him.

HeavyHitter2 · Aug 22, 2008

I feel for you bro, I lost my Father 9 years ago at age 69. what sucks is that he had 2 separate lung operations, each one removing a lobe on each lung, from which he recovered from as if he were a 25 year old. a year later, he decides to go for elective surgery on his back.(spinal fusion) he suffered from back problems most of his life. well, he never came home from the hospital that night. he suffered a heart attack and passed away.
your post is so true bro, without your family, the people you love, and your health. nothing else matters.
my condolences to you bro. but I see it this way, your father is not gone, he lives on through you. take his wisdom and the things he taught you and pass them on. i'm told all the time that I am just like my father, and i'm proud of that.
you and your family will be in my prayers.

thebrick · Aug 22, 2008

I am very sorry to hear of your father's passing. Take comfort in that he did live a full, rich life. I know you are proud of him and I am quite sure he was proud of you. What you said was not "preaching" but is absolutely true and we all need to be reminded of that from time to time. We are all here in this time of pain to support you.

Dusty Hanshaw · Aug 22, 2008

First off I'm sorry for your loss. But with that being said it sounds like your father was an amazing man and you had an even more amazing relationship. The memories that you two shared will last for all eternity and you are fortunate to have such a tight grasp on what really matters in this life. The words you speak are so true.

Dusty

Sassy · Aug 22, 2008

My condolences for the loss of your father. I just lost my grandmother four weeks ago and I'm still feeling the loss too. You and your family are in my prayers.

mooshue · Aug 22, 2008

I feel for you bro. My parents are getting old now too. Luckily one thing i learned from both of them, enjoy your life and your family as much as you can as long as you can. Don't wait and save everything for the so called "retirement" cause then its too late, you may be dead by then.

kandaandm · Aug 23, 2008

Thanks guys...I appreciate all the support.

MAINEVENT · Aug 23, 2008

Dusty Hanshaw said:
First off I'm sorry for your loss. But with that being said it sounds like your father was an amazing man and you had an even more amazing relationship. The memories that you two shared will last for all eternity and you are fortunate to have such a tight grasp on what really matters in this life. The words you speak are so true.

Dusty

Great post Dusty.

Sorry for your loss K. I understand what you mean....the most important things to me in my life are my son, my family and the few good friends that i have.