Advice on breakup and pride

[ouija]

Well...we spoke this morning briefly and i asked if she still wanted to be with me. Her reply was 'thats a loaded question'.

I then said to myself...that damn donkey was right.

Turns out though donkey was very very wrong. Relationship status is pending a sit down face to face talk. But the short story (since you guys dont need to know these details) there are some physical and mental health issues going on, a few doc appointments next week to see what's what. Turns out she does love me, but didnt want me to shoulder any part of what she sees as her burdens and worries. Im expecting a rough, emotional, and trying and very personal road ahead...we'll see how our next fee conversations go.

Sorry bros, i thank you for the insight and shared stories...but other than whether or not we get back together all future details will remain private.

 

[raw33man]

Fuck, relationships are confusing lol

 

[Cerberus777]

Okay, okay, let's try to avoid diagnosing this woman with a mental illness as diligently as we have trying to avoid labeling her an infidel. We have no ability to ascertain that here on this board through her ex-boyfriend.

True...my fault. Regardless of cause the op needs to find out where he stands in her priorities.

 

[standard donkey]

Well...we spoke this morning briefly and i asked if she still wanted to be with me. Her reply was 'thats a loaded question'.

I then said to myself...that damn donkey was right.

Turns out though donkey was very very wrong. Relationship status is pending a sit down face to face talk. But the short story (since you guys dont need to know these details) there are some physical and mental health issues going on, a few doc appointments next week to see what's what. Turns out she does love me, but didnt want me to shoulder any part of what she sees as her burdens and worries. Im expecting a rough, emotional, and trying and very personal road ahead...we'll see how our next fee conversations go.

Sorry bros, i thank you for the insight and shared stories...but other than whether or not we get back together all future details will remain private.

well it's bullshit cuz you left out all the mental and physical health issues..


I still somewhat stand by my original opinion tho lol

 

[ouija]

^^ i thought i mentioned it somewhere?

Just bustin on ya a lil haha, no hard feelings. Besides, 99% of the time you woulda been right. Even i didnt expect this one

 

[OuchThatHurts]

True...my fault. Regardless of cause the op needs to find out where he stands in her priorities.

It's cool, I know you're a smart cat. That just looked like this thread's black hole.

 

[qwerty_lifter]

I'm sorry man, S. Donkey is most likely right...it sucks, but let the weak wean themselves out of your life...like Darwin Awards.
If she hasn't already saddled up another horse, she's already took it for a ride or two...

 

[Simpllyhuge]

Could be fishy or could just he mental. I could see myself doing something like this and needing to be left alone while I got my shit together. Haven't read the whole thread yet.

 

[LS3 Power]

Well...we spoke this morning briefly and i asked if she still wanted to be with me. Her reply was 'thats a loaded question'.

I then said to myself...that damn donkey was right.

Turns out though donkey was very very wrong. Relationship status is pending a sit down face to face talk. But the short story (since you guys dont need to know these details) there are some physical and mental health issues going on, a few doc appointments next week to see what's what. Turns out she does love me, but didnt want me to shoulder any part of what she sees as her burdens and worries. Im expecting a rough, emotional, and trying and very personal road ahead...we'll see how our next fee conversations go.

Sorry bros, i thank you for the insight and shared stories...but other than whether or not we get back together all future details will remain private.

:naughty: You promised us a "shitty reality show!"

Jokes aside, I'm reluctantly happy to hear of these developments. It's a starting point. What a selfless act by her!

 

[Simpllyhuge]

Ok well I have no "game" whatsoever. So can we turn this into a game thread?

 

[OuchThatHurts]

I still somewhat stand by my original opinion tho lol

Well we need to explore that in a whole NEW thead.. LOL

I'm sensing some early childhoo...

Okay, screw that bullshit but you got some SERIOUS trust issues dude. When you find the one that you spend years, life and death, birth, heartache, loss, poverty and riches with, then you'll have no worry about "another guy". She would no rather be with another guy than you another girl. You will be true mates - the way homo homo sapiens are MEANT to be.

Because you are young. because you are naive and weak, (nobody wants to hear that, I know) but we've all been there! The relationships of infidelity are TRITE!!! TRITE, (look it up if you have to) and of no consequence whatsoever. They will all fail in inevitable doom and heartache - usually with kids in tow. That's the real tragedy there, otherwise I'd normally say go on with your miserable lives.

I've said this before but some of you know nothing. If you knew you knew nothing, than that would be something, but you don't even know that. You will learn in time and probably already you're recoiling in disgust that the anger you're soooo content to revel in is true and justified.

It's not.

 

[ouija]

Well we need to explore that in a whole NEW thead.. LOL

I'm sensing some early childhoo...

Okay, screw that bullshit but you got some SERIOUS trust issues dude. When you find the one that you spend years, life and death, birth, heartache, loss, poverty and riches with, then you'll have no worry about "another guy". She would no rather be with another guy than you another girl. You will be true mates - the way homo homo sapiens are MEANT to be.

Because you are young. because you are naive and weak, (nobody wants to hear that, I know) but we've all been there! The relationships of infidelity are TRITE!!! TRITE, (look it up if you have to) and of no consequence whatsoever. They will all fail in inevitable doom and heartache - usually with kids in tow. That's the real tragedy there, otherwise I'd normally say go on with your miserable lives.

I've said this before but some of you know nothing. If you knew you knew nothing, than that would be something, but you don't even know that. You will learn in time and probably already you're recoiling in disgust that the anger you're soooo content to revel in is true and justified.

It's not.

You can't teach experience.

On another completely second note (while we're going a bit OT) for all the guys who say all women act/do/think a certain way that usually results in them getting hurt/cheated/dumped...a good hard look in the mirror is needed. Could be the company you keep, your attitude, or the nuances you don't see about yourself that others do.

 

[ouija]

Well, I hate when we make these threads filled with our personal struggles seeking guidance and nobody ever finds out what the hell happened. So heres my update a half year later. (minus the family bs I went through with 2 grandfathers passing of cancer during the initial breakup)

I stopped talking to her. She texted, I ignored it. She waved at me driving down the road, I turned up the radio. She told me I was looking good or tried to say hi at the gym, I looked through her like a window and shrugged. She even brought me a small gift to the gym and I just shrugged, said thanks, and went back to training.

On her end, once she figured out I wasn't going to speak to her, I found out she started dating a guy which lasted a few short months...while trying to contact me the entire time. Can't say I blame her for trying to move on, I sure as hell did (and yes guys, I did some things I won't admit too for another 10 years haha).

Then the girl finally found something substantial to say that I couldn't ignore...free dinner at my favorite sushi place. I've never turned down food much less free food, and I've been broke between paying for physical therapy and saving for vacation so I figured, why not take the free meal and tell her to piss off afterwards?

Well, after 14 years of crossing paths and a whole lot of self reflection (yeah, I admit, I could improve who I am with my attitude and finally quit smoking that green shit)...I still have the same feelings for the girl as I did when we met as teenagers and dated then. So she came crawling back after that dinner (which was a nice dinner/evening) and was really honest with me about a lot of things. So we've been talking and to my surprise, I think I found out what real communication is. I've never been able to connect and share my ideas and feelings and vice versa with anyone before.

So while I'm not jumping the gun on it, deep down I think this girl might be the one. I have no good reason for that feeling either, it's just there. So we're back together, working things out, my life on it's own has gotten better so I'm taking this as a positive addition. We're on the same page for once so...here's to hoping for the best.

 

[OuchThatHurts]

Congratulations. Sometimes the best therapy is just simply time.

Best wishes for your new life.

 

[swolen22]

I'm very happy to hear this. Sometimes girls honestly need space to figure things out for themselves and if you truly love them, you will let them go and if they truly love you, they will come back. Congratulations my friend.

 

[ouija]

Thank you guys for the well wishes.

It's definitely not an easy road ahead...there have been plenty of difficult conversations but the outcomes have all been constructive.

In all honestly I still get anxious over small things like when I don't hear from her during the day and small things like that, only to be relived by our next conversation. All that tells me is I need a chill pill.

But, one day at a time, and a great deal of patience and I think things will be fine with time.

 

[mewalrus]

Congrats nothing worthwhile is easy.

 

[mewalrus]

Well, I hate when we make these threads filled with our personal struggles seeking guidance and nobody ever finds out what the hell happened. So heres my update a half year later. (minus the family bs I went through with 2 grandfathers passing of cancer during the initial breakup)

I stopped talking to her. She texted, I ignored it. She waved at me driving down the road, I turned up the radio. She told me I was looking good or tried to say hi at the gym, I looked through her like a window and shrugged. She even brought me a small gift to the gym and I just shrugged, said thanks, and went back to training.

On her end, once she figured out I wasn't going to speak to her, I found out she started dating a guy which lasted a few short months...while trying to contact me the entire time. Can't say I blame her for trying to move on, I sure as hell did (and yes guys, I did some things I won't admit too for another 10 years haha).

Then the girl finally found something substantial to say that I couldn't ignore...free dinner at my favorite sushi place. I've never turned down food much less free food, and I've been broke between paying for physical therapy and saving for vacation so I figured, why not take the free meal and tell her to piss off afterwards?

Well, after 14 years of crossing paths and a whole lot of self reflection (yeah, I admit, I could improve who I am with my attitude and finally quit smoking that green shit)...I still have the same feelings for the girl as I did when we met as teenagers and dated then. So she came crawling back after that dinner (which was a nice dinner/evening) and was really honest with me about a lot of things. So we've been talking and to my surprise, I think I found out what real communication is. I've never been able to connect and share my ideas and feelings and vice versa with anyone before.

So while I'm not jumping the gun on it, deep down I think this girl might be the one. I have no good reason for that feeling either, it's just there. So we're back together, working things out, my life on it's own has gotten better so I'm taking this as a positive addition. We're on the same page for once so...here's to hoping for the best.

You did it exactly right, this post should be a sticky.

 

[trenman05]

best way to move on from her is to replace her with someone better my friend, the heart yearns for whats normal. your relationship was fun and exciting in the beginning then it became comfortable, then that was your normalcy. find someone new and exciting and that will be your new and better normal!

 

[ENJOYLIFE88]

You did it exactly right, this post should be a sticky.

props to the op for playing the game right but why would any guy with any self respect ever take back an ex after she's been with another guy?This woman insulted you and disrespected you by telling you she didn't want to be with you, fucks some other guy for a few months and turned out that guy wasn't all she thought he was. FUCK HER