An Interesting Conundrum - Familial Issues (Off Topic)

[Swifto]

Replying on my phone so please bear with me mate!

This is the screen it shows - then it shows the percentage of DNA match along with hereditary traits

Who are the 14 people on the Father side, are you related to any of these?

 

[Sully1234]

So I gues

I appreciate the replies and you guys taking the time to get back to me:

Few things of note
1) Relationship with my "parents" I have not had a positive interaction with them since 2005 when I left for the Navy
2) "Dad" called me once in 2013 but nothing from 05-13 and 13-present.

I understand not communicating with certain family members but gotta ask, would it really be that bad to send your mother a screen shot and ask her?

 

[Performance Based]

So I gues

I understand not communicating with certain family members but gotta ask, would it really be that bad to send your mother a screen shot and ask her?

Who are the 14 people on the Father side, are you related to any of these?

@Swifto - unfamiliar with all. My "father" and grandfather have a pretty built out family tree on the website however it shows no relationship between myself and anyone on that side of the family.

@Sully1234 Unfortunately that is not a possibility. They received a piece of junk mail sent to their residence about two months ago adressed to me. Received around 20 calls and half a dozen emails ripping me apart for having my mail go to them. Every tiny thing just absolutely blows up. Mother does the holier than thou approach. She only ever dated my father, they didn't shotgun a wedding, shes never had a sip of alcohol... Anyone with tattoos is going to burn in hell forever, premarital sex isn't real "love" that type of stuff...

 

[Performance Based]

Just checked my email

Think I might be having a small panic attack…

 

[Gizmo]

Just checked my email

Think I might be having a small panic attack…

Wow brother. That is life changing. Feels like this might be a whole new world opening up you… if you’re up for it..

 

[SouthernMuscle]

Just checked my email

Think I might be having a small panic attack…

Well that’s the best possible outcome i suppose, but the fact that he obviously KNEW has me madder than fuck on your behalf

 

[275bills]

Well that’s the best possible outcome i suppose, but the fact that he obviously KNEW has me madder than fuck on your behalf

Man i get that but sometimes you just have to have compassion and forgiveness in these situations

 

[Swifto]

Wow! How amazing.

 

[SouthernMuscle]

Man i get that but sometimes you just have to have compassion and forgiveness in these situations

Not my forte. I could never imagine turning my back on what i knew to be my child. Just not how i’m wired

 

[sourpower]

Not my forte. I could never imagine turning my back on what i knew to be my child. Just not how i’m wired

I get that. However, Some people know the best thing they can do for their kid is stay away though… any dumbfuck can make a baby but not everyone has the strength to man up and be a father.

 

[bbxtreme]

Just checked my email

Think I might be having a small panic attack…

I think I got chills reading that. I am with @SouthernMuscle- where you been if you knew?

But at the same time he obviously signed up for the DNA Test and made it public in hopes to find something. I’d at least hear him out and see where it goes.

I didn’t talk with my father for 7 years. I said I never would again bc of the shit that went down. Then one day he changed and wanted to take ownership. That I never thought possible. Will we ever be the same? No.

I’m a firm believer in “forgive, but don’t forget.” See where it takes you.

 

[SouthernMuscle]

I get that. However, Some people know the best thing they can do for their kid is stay away though… any dumbfuck can make a baby but not everyone has the strength to man up and be a father.

My judgement and viewpoint is what it is

 

[275bills]

Not my forte. I could never imagine turning my back on what i knew to be my child. Just not how i’m wired

I totally get that but it was definitely a possibility when finding out the results

 

[goback2013]

Well that’s the best possible outcome i suppose, but the fact that he obviously KNEW has me madder than fuck on your behalf

Yeah. This whole thread kinda has me fucked too. Although the actors are different, it's the same actions.
Yeah I'm 50 but those memories of the lies and the mind fucks are just like it was yesterday.

 

[Gizmo]

Well that’s the best possible outcome i suppose, but the fact that he obviously KNEW has me madder than fuck on your behalf

I understand your viewpoint. But not knowing everything I am reserving judgment. This happened over 36 years ago. People do change sometimes. Who knows why he never reached out. Maybe he felt ashamed, he didn’t want to wreck his son’s world and thought it was for the best? Who know what the reasoning was? He put his DNA out there. He could’ve not replied to the email.

I just find that wasting my life being angry, resentful and hateful has never bettered my life. And I’ve done a lot of it.

 

[sourpower]

My judgement and viewpoint is what it is

Not arguing with you. I could never abandon my kids. Just throwing a different perspective out there.

 

[fisther69]

Just checked my email

Think I might be having a small panic attack…

Hell yeah brother! With the shit like we have been through I’m glad you can have this my man…I know true family is the only thing that got me this far..I hope this is that for you

 

[Sully1234]

@Sully1234 Unfortunately that is not a possibility. They received a piece of junk mail sent to their residence about two months ago adressed to me. Received around 20 calls and half a dozen emails ripping me apart for having my mail go to them. Every tiny thing just absolutely blows up. Mother does the holier than thou approach. She only ever dated my father, they didn't shotgun a wedding, shes never had a sip of alcohol... Anyone with tattoos is going to burn in hell forever, premarital sex isn't real "love" that type of stuff...

Well that... sucks and is just ridiculous. Sounds like you're better off with out that type on interaction until something changes in their behavior.

 

[Sully1234]

Not arguing with you. I could never abandon my kids. Just throwing a different perspective out there.

Was thinking the same thing along the lines of "maybe I should stay away to not cause a rift in their family" etc given I don't know all the circumstances.

 

[Sully1234]

Just checked my email

Think I might be having a small panic attack…

That brought a tear to my eye reading it. Really happy for you!