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Ok so i'm not a scholar, so i will make this as clear as possible.
I am 27 years old, i am in my third long term relationship. My highschool sweatheart and i split after high school. Not on bad terms.
I somewhat rushed into my next relationship, we were together almost 3 years. Out of this relationship i came out with a baby, and a drug and alcohol habit. It did not end well. I fought for custody, and won 50/50 joint custody. My ex also was battling the alcohol and drug demons. Eventually she went awoll got a couple of felonies, did time. I have had full custody of my daughter for about 5 years now.
About 3 months after this relationship ended i started the relationship i am currently in. We have been together off and on for the past 6 years. Mind you all three of these girls were friends at one point in time(big mistake). So i now have been with the current woman for quite some time. At the beggining of our relationship the drug and alcohol use was pretty heavy. Thank fully i got those demons under control. I haven't touched anything other than alcohol in the last 4 years. Durring the first couple of years i know she was unfaithful, i have no hard evidence, but we were from a small town, and people talk. She also has a daughter that is 9 now(my daughter is 7). I am the only father her daughter has ever known and i treat her as my own. Both our daughters are raised like sisters, at least by me. We are both respectively called mommy and daddy by our girls. Here is where i have a problem.
My current girl can't stand my babys mother(they used to go drug it up though when we first got together when they were both mad at me). So my babys momma is six months out of inpateint intensive rehab. Has been clean as far as i know for 6 months, still on very strict probation/parole. I let Makayla go and visit her mother and grandmother every other weekend. My current girlfriend throws fits about this, talks badly about that side of makaylas family almost daily to me, as well as in front of makayla. The abuse is not worded nicley, and at one point she has even started punching me(that turned into a dv case for me, its always the mans fault). I have been dealing with this negativity for the last few years. I try to make it work for the kids sake more for her daughters than mine, it is negative for my daughter. I have asked begged and pleaded, then finally gave ultimatums to stop all this madness. To no avail. It gets good for a couple of weeks then the whole world is crashing down again. At this point we rarely get along at all. We sleep in seperate rooms, a non existent sex life. She sleeps almost non stop on the weekends. Its to the point that the kids know how she is and look forward to being with me. i know i will never marry this girl....so why do i stay????
I think i stay for the simple fact that i'm scared what will become of her and her daughter if i leave. She has basicly no family who cares enough about her to help her out. She is borderline sucidal most of the time, always wishing she was dead, doesen't know why she is breathing ect, ect. She lost her Dad over a year ago, and is still dwelling on that.
I am unhappy. So unhappy. I have talked to her about it many times, but nothing changes. I just want to leave and start fresh with just me and my daughter. Is this wrong? Is this the right thing to do? Is this detrimental to our childrens well being(staying or going).
Don't get me wrong she has been here for me and my daughter, but i haven't really needed any support from her. Other than playing house with me as far as general stuff like the chores, or picking up and dropping off kids everything for me and my daughter comes from my hard work. I come from a good family with a mom and dad and 3 brothers and sisters. We are all very close with one another, where as she has not had this kind of family life.
We are some what entwined as far as belongings go as well. We have lived together for about 4 years. All the new purchases have been split 50/50. But the majority of the stuff is mine. Appliances tvs bed dishes.
Do i cut my losses and run? I would feel i was abandoning one of my children if i did this. Katlin is 9 though, and sees what her mom does to all of us, and knows it is not right.
Shit i could go on for days, and days. There is way to much to list. Need some hard truth advice.
I am 27 years old, i am in my third long term relationship. My highschool sweatheart and i split after high school. Not on bad terms.
I somewhat rushed into my next relationship, we were together almost 3 years. Out of this relationship i came out with a baby, and a drug and alcohol habit. It did not end well. I fought for custody, and won 50/50 joint custody. My ex also was battling the alcohol and drug demons. Eventually she went awoll got a couple of felonies, did time. I have had full custody of my daughter for about 5 years now.
About 3 months after this relationship ended i started the relationship i am currently in. We have been together off and on for the past 6 years. Mind you all three of these girls were friends at one point in time(big mistake). So i now have been with the current woman for quite some time. At the beggining of our relationship the drug and alcohol use was pretty heavy. Thank fully i got those demons under control. I haven't touched anything other than alcohol in the last 4 years. Durring the first couple of years i know she was unfaithful, i have no hard evidence, but we were from a small town, and people talk. She also has a daughter that is 9 now(my daughter is 7). I am the only father her daughter has ever known and i treat her as my own. Both our daughters are raised like sisters, at least by me. We are both respectively called mommy and daddy by our girls. Here is where i have a problem.
My current girl can't stand my babys mother(they used to go drug it up though when we first got together when they were both mad at me). So my babys momma is six months out of inpateint intensive rehab. Has been clean as far as i know for 6 months, still on very strict probation/parole. I let Makayla go and visit her mother and grandmother every other weekend. My current girlfriend throws fits about this, talks badly about that side of makaylas family almost daily to me, as well as in front of makayla. The abuse is not worded nicley, and at one point she has even started punching me(that turned into a dv case for me, its always the mans fault). I have been dealing with this negativity for the last few years. I try to make it work for the kids sake more for her daughters than mine, it is negative for my daughter. I have asked begged and pleaded, then finally gave ultimatums to stop all this madness. To no avail. It gets good for a couple of weeks then the whole world is crashing down again. At this point we rarely get along at all. We sleep in seperate rooms, a non existent sex life. She sleeps almost non stop on the weekends. Its to the point that the kids know how she is and look forward to being with me. i know i will never marry this girl....so why do i stay????
I think i stay for the simple fact that i'm scared what will become of her and her daughter if i leave. She has basicly no family who cares enough about her to help her out. She is borderline sucidal most of the time, always wishing she was dead, doesen't know why she is breathing ect, ect. She lost her Dad over a year ago, and is still dwelling on that.
I am unhappy. So unhappy. I have talked to her about it many times, but nothing changes. I just want to leave and start fresh with just me and my daughter. Is this wrong? Is this the right thing to do? Is this detrimental to our childrens well being(staying or going).
Don't get me wrong she has been here for me and my daughter, but i haven't really needed any support from her. Other than playing house with me as far as general stuff like the chores, or picking up and dropping off kids everything for me and my daughter comes from my hard work. I come from a good family with a mom and dad and 3 brothers and sisters. We are all very close with one another, where as she has not had this kind of family life.
We are some what entwined as far as belongings go as well. We have lived together for about 4 years. All the new purchases have been split 50/50. But the majority of the stuff is mine. Appliances tvs bed dishes.
Do i cut my losses and run? I would feel i was abandoning one of my children if i did this. Katlin is 9 though, and sees what her mom does to all of us, and knows it is not right.
Shit i could go on for days, and days. There is way to much to list. Need some hard truth advice.
