Dad just got diagnosed with prostate cancer

[AllOkJumpmaster]

Swirling emotions here on both our parts.

We know nothing, we don't know shit about fuck.

The doctor is a douche, acted like he could give a fuck. Biopsy was 11 days ago, told results would be available after 3 days. Finally got some results and resolution today, after our own persistence with the office. Gave him a book recommendation, scheduled a follow up, said, "yeah you can either have the removal or radiation, there are pros and cons to both. See you in a month." Said his numbers were borderline mild to moderate.

Anyone have any experience with anything here than can make the mountain seem a little bit more climbable?

I am angry, but calmed myself from putting a knife through someone's throat

p.s. of course the doc is fat piece of dogshit that has never even seen the inside of a gym. Guy is built like a bag of wet microwaved bagels that I slammed against a tree stump.

EDIT: apologies for a bit of an emotional post, I didn't search,. I just came here to post / vent. This, at least for me personally, is a safe community for posting sharing if that makes sense. Not a lot more of them exist any more these days. Genuine thanks to anyone that reads or comments, and no love lost if no one does.

 

[Golden]

How old is your dad?

I was told by a pathologist friend that prostate cancer can be extremely slow growing and many men who have it, often die long before the prostate cancer has developed enough to cause a concern. He said that often prostate cancer is over treated in those cases

Of course this isn't every case but something to keep in mind

 

[fisther69]

So, I have a lot of experience in this..my father in law was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer and given 3 months to live by the most prominent conventional prostate cancer doctor at MD Anderson there is..my wife who is also a doctor didn’t accept that answer.

She discovered doctor dattoli cancer center in Florida and he went into full remission..however, the first question he asked was if they removed his prostate yet…once they remove it they can no longer treat the residual..it will come back..imagine not having a prostate and Your PSA score is suddenly 50!

He gave him 6 more years until he died in a freak accident.

 

[buck]

Sorry to hear. Generally that type of cancer is slow moving. And is more manageable then many other types. Just start reading. Letting a Dr. decide what is best for you may not be the best thing. In my experience. Radiation seems a good choice for many from my limited reading. I know of a few that have gone that route with good results.

 

[Bio]

Sent you a message

 

[xx]

praying for you and your family

 

[bbxtreme]

Sorry to hear about your situation. Age and severity many times dictate a doctor’s response or motivation.

However, that doesn’t excuse bad bedside manner IMO. Surgeons easily fall into this robotic routine IMO and forget it’s about the patient and their quality of life after.

I would honestly find a different doctor who you align with better as you do NOT want to be stuck with someone like this from start to finish. As this is only the start.

Once you do that I personally would view surgery as a last resort option as others have mentioned above. That decision should be made IMO after other interventions have been considered against the severity of the case.

As well, factor in quality of life and average lifespan after diagnosis when making this decision. A good surgeon will do this with you, but most will not which leaves it on you the patient.

Hope this helps and stay strong!

 

[alfresco]

Sent you a message

Ditto here.

 

[narta]

My father was 83 when he diagnosed with prostate cancer. Radiation was chosen. He is 88 now 5 years cancer free. The older the person, the slower the progression and the higher the chances of surviving it.

Best wishes and stay strong for your dad.

 

[danieltx]

How old is your dad?

My mom's brother was diagnoed with prostate cancer around 72 but it was so slow moving his doctor said we'll just keep an eye on it because something else will kill you before this does. That was in 2016 and he's had no issues.

 

[Stewie]

Sent you a PM.

 

[dimethyl11]

Sent you a PM.

Ditto here.

Sent you a message

Are you guys able to share any of the PM information here publicly for the rest of us to gain knowledge?

Sorry to hear about your father OP - I'm sure a lot of great information is going to come from this thread. Have you looked at Alex Kikel?

 

[Stewie]

Mine is for a referral to a urologist I know that can possibly help, either through guidance/suggest or possibly become one of his patients.

 

[LK3]

had 2 family members with prostate cancer i think one was early 70s and grandfather in the early 90s. both were in good shape and just had it removed. both recovered quickly with no issues. another family member now in mid 30s that needs to have it removed but the biopsy hasnt come back yet. the youngest one has complicated issue due to age and size and other details, no one has seen something so big in someone so young. prostate more then 200cc.

 

[360]

I am a retired physician who used to work with other physicians that dealt with prostate cancer. From my discussions with them, your two treatment options depend on which specialty field of medicine you decide to go with.

1) If you want radiation choose a interventional radiologist to perform the procedure.

2) If you want the prostate removed choose a urologist to perform the surgery.

There are pros and cons to each option.

The interventional radiologist will say radiation is your best option. The urologist will say removal is the best option. The ultimate decision is up to your father and your family.

 

[cage99]

I was under the impression if you’re were given the diagnosis of cancer that surgery is always step one. Reading above seems not to be the case…. My thinking was if you cut out the mass it’s obviously gone. Then use chemo/ or radiation to blast whatever may be left behind.

@AllOkJumpmaster, I hope things turn around for your pops! My best wishes to you and your family!

Cage

 

[Dado5]

My Dad just got diagnosed with prostate cancer too. Stage T2a. My dad is 78 and Dr. said no treatment needed for this stage of cancer. Just follow ups and monitoring. Dr said you can live like this for up to 15 years without treatment unless it gets bigger.

 

[danieltx]

I was under the impression if you’re were given the diagnosis of cancer that surgery is always step one. Reading above seems not to be the case…. My thinking was if you cut out the mass it’s obviously gone. Then use chemo/ or radiation to blast whatever may be left behind.

@AllOkJumpmaster, I hope things turn around for your pops! My best wishes to you and your family!

Cage

Prostate removal can be an extremely brutal surgery with quite bad aftereffects. Unless you have a really severe case it's not first line treatment.

 

[Stewie]

My Dad just got diagnosed with prostate cancer too. Stage T2a. My dad is 78 and Dr. said no treatment needed for this stage of cancer. Just follow ups and monitoring. Dr said you can live like this for up to 15 years without treatment unless it gets bigger.

That's good to hear! The few urologist I know would much rather do active surveillance rather than a prostatectomy or radiation. One of the urologist used to post here up until a few years ago. Very knowledgeable physician!

 

[Stewie]

Long-Term Outcomes From Prostate Cancer Active Surveillance

This prospective, multicenter cohort study evaluates the long-term outcomes of men diagnosed with favorable-risk prostate cancer managed with protocol-directed active surveillance, including regular biopsies and prostate-specific antigen screening, from 2008 to 2022.

jamanetwork.com