I'm Done!!

Reload · Mar 6, 2005

Long story short...too many cycles over the past 12 years, gyno surgery twice, sperm count so low I couldn't get the wife pregnant the natural way, 36 years old with LVH, just put on BP meds due to average BP of 155/95. On a positive note, my daughter's due in May (new priorities). I think it's just time to put the heavy cycles away for good! As Bob Paris would say, "time to put away the gorilla suit". It's time for me to get really healthy for a change. If not for me than for my daughters sake. Hardest thing I'll probably ever do.
Wish there were a board for ex-users and guys going through this transition. An AA for AAS users if you will.
Time to clean up an lean up.
Reload

BigBoyJ · Mar 6, 2005

Good luck, man. I hope everything goes well for you.

xcelbeyond · Mar 6, 2005

I think that most people here will respect your decision.

There's no need to run away from this community. There are plenty of natural lifters that contribute at this board. Hell - I've been basically off for nearly two years.

I've been pretty cognisant of checking my BP. I've found that certain things (more than others) increase my BP. Sounds like you found out about anti-e's too late. For me, "bloat" (water retention) is the biggest cause of BP, which is due to having too much estrogen. So - by controlling bloat (estrogen control), my BP stays fine and I don't get gyno warning signs. Now after about 3 weeks of tren, my BP gets way too high.

I'm not trying to get you back to the dark side

just stating some info for all reading this to not go about this haphazardly.

JETHRO TULL · Mar 6, 2005

BEST OF LUCK, RELOAD!

I RESPECT YOUR DECISION....JUST REMEMBER YOU ARE NOW AT THE AGE WERE NATURAL TEST LEVELS ARE LOWERING......A GUY STILL MIGHT WANT TO GO THE HRT ROUTE! WHO KNOWS? HAHAA........CONGRATS ON THE NEW CHILD! AWESOME!

MrJuiceHead · Mar 6, 2005

good luck man

Reload · Mar 7, 2005

I appreciate the support guys. Bodybuilding/weightlifting has been such a dominant force in my life. I've lived, eaten and breathed bodybuilding since I was a teenager. I've sacraficed many friendships, isolated family, and scared off multiple love interest. Amidts all this I have very few regrets. The sport of bodybuilding gave me self confidence and discipline during a time in my life when I had no direction, no aspirations and little reason to get up in the morning. I can't see the gym not being a part of my life...it's in my blood and always will be.
I'll check into the HRT route as I'm sure it's going to take years (if ever) for my HPTA to come back to base line. My Doc appears to be very supportive as is the wife. Add the support of individuals here and I can't lose (other than about 40 unecessary pounds of bloat and muscle mass). The ego's about to take a serious hit!
BBJ, Xcel, JT, and Mr. JH...your positive responses add fuel to my desire to scale back the androgens (significantly) and be proactive in the health of my body and mind. Many thanks guys

Paul Bunyan · Mar 7, 2005

Stay in the gym, clean up the diet, and get healthy. Once your head is clear and your system is cleaned out you can take a nice clear look at the situation. Only you know what is best for you. Best of luck, we are all here for you.

PB

Mr.Huge · Mar 7, 2005

indeed your health is more important...

your making the right decision. Like Xcel mentioned there are many here who are doing it naturally now. I have'nt used in over 2 years now myself also. Best of luck to you and I hope your health gets back to where it needs to be. Have fun with the grandchild...

Mr.Huge

Vander_V · Mar 7, 2005

Reload said:
I appreciate the support guys. Bodybuilding/weightlifting has been such a dominant force in my life. I've lived, eaten and breathed bodybuilding since I was a teenager. I've sacraficed many friendships, isolated family, and scared off multiple love interest. Amidts all this I have very few regrets. The sport of bodybuilding gave me self confidence and discipline during a time in my life when I had no direction, no aspirations and little reason to get up in the morning. I can't see the gym not being a part of my life...it's in my blood and always will be.
I'll check into the HRT route as I'm sure it's going to take years (if ever) for my HPTA to come back to base line. My Doc appears to be very supportive as is the wife. Add the support of individuals here and I can't lose (other than about 40 unecessary pounds of bloat and muscle mass). The ego's about to take a serious hit!
BBJ, Xcel, JT, and Mr. JH...your positive responses add fuel to my desire to scale back the androgens (significantly) and be proactive in the health of my body and mind. Many thanks guys

BB isnt a life long sport like golf ,,, its time to throw in the towel and appreciate what life is about, after all theres noting more valuable then your health just ask your daughter that.

Nemesis79 · Mar 7, 2005

bodybuildins is meant to enhance life...you done well iron bro..now just maintain what you have and stay healthy

TooPowerful4u · Mar 7, 2005

Your making the right choice. Your health and your daughter are 10x more important. I actually hate AAS but my competitive nature compells me to use them. BB is my absolute fav thing to compete in, but if i ever stop competing in that, u can bet ur ass AAS are GONE. Get healthy and live a long happy life and enjoy your baby girl.

BigBoyJ · Mar 7, 2005

Some gh therapy could be helpfull too. That way you could still get your hpta back to normal AND keep more of your muscle. Plus, 36 is a good age to start gh therapy anyway. Keeps you young and studly.

Steak Helmet · Mar 7, 2005

With your years of knowledge, you could help out a lot of people in out commuity vhatboards. I hope you stick around and help out.

If not, best of luck to you and your new daughter.

luckyone · Mar 7, 2005

Best of luck. Bodybuilding is GREAT, with gear or without. We each have to decide what price we will pay and what risks we will take. Just don't ever stop lifting. My Dad died at 91 and was lifting till he was 88.

Your brother in Christ,

Lucky

jerrywear · Mar 7, 2005

luckyone said:
Best of luck. Bodybuilding is GREAT, with gear or without. We each have to decide what price we will pay and what risks we will take. Just don't ever stop lifting. My Dad died at 91 and was lifting till he was 88.

Your brother in Christ,

Lucky

yes with gear or not your have it in you.nobody can take it away from you.its yours and that waht i love about this sport.
i do respect your desition thats great.new child congrats.
we all going to be here for you

Jrflex10er · Mar 7, 2005

Friggin right bro keep it up....there is not reason why you can still press the heavy weights without and still feel good about yourself.

gnpower · Mar 7, 2005

There is a time and place for everything

Look at the big picture of your childs future you are making the best chioce here. I don't want this post to sound anti-juice but there is just a time and place for everything. Look if you are an up and coming football pllayer whose scholarship depends on gaining 20 lbs, or a pro athelete paid to perform or an actor/model and have to look a certian way hell yes juice away. Or even a young single guy with only yourself to hurt go for it.

But if you are a parent or soon to be and just using juice for cosmetic reasons why risk it? One leaky package/custom agent doing their job/narc/snoopy postal agent/ etc could very easily lead to a controlled delivery. Then you're screwed. It can easily ruin relationships, destroy careers, and at a minimum be a major expense on legal hassles. Then there are the health reasons to boot. Would that be worth being big and strong? I guess it is to some but I don't get it.

Bottom line you and you family are way better off. Eat clean, train smart, and you will have a healthy lean athletic physique. Be proud of this. Remeber you cant be huge forever. You have to take off the training wheels sometime.

And yes you will get the fucks in the gym that you always looked better than (and probably still will) that come up to you and say stupid shit. Just tell them you're taking it easy and trying to let them catch up. Keep your head up and don't let these insecure people get to you. Even consider changing gyms if they bug you too much.

Bottom line you cant be huge forever and you are being a real man taking care of your family by making the right choice. And if you can get on some HRT this will be a very easy transition.

Pittbull™ · Mar 7, 2005

Your health is No.1 bro, I respect the choice you've made & I think everyone here will.
All the best with the new baby & hopefully you'll stick around, as xcel said there are loads of natural guys on here.
All the best,

Pittbull