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OT: What would you do in my situation?

little slice

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so as some of you may know (those of you who read my anti-bullying thread), I wrecked my car avoiding another motorist.



everything is fine, but im without a car.


so ive been getting rides to and from work (I have an extremely short commute, but not short enough to walk) from my sister who lives very close to me.


now my sister and I have always had a good relationship... she's never been considered particularly bright...and no one would accuse her of possessing tremendously sound judgment.... she's been somewhat prone to depression - like all women, but is otherwise of sound mind.


so last night, she comes to pick me up.. and everything seems to be normal.


long story short, she does an extremely shitty job of driving - including trying to do a 3-point turn on a one-way street... back into oncoming traffic, because she thought we missed a turn.


I repeatedly had to grab the wheel to keep us from going into oncoming traffic, and from crashing into parked cars.. she repeatedly ran stop signs (thankfully there were no stop lights on the route).


I yelled at her to stop the car... but she refused (of course), and only stopped once we reached her house. I considered bailing out, but that would leave her dumb ass alone in the car, without me to keep her from crashing.


turns out, she was plastered...at 5:30pm.



she knew she was going to pick me up, but got wasted anyways. I didn't notice at first, because she wasn't very talkative (usually isn't around that time of day, as she is tired from her job) - so I couldn't hear her slur her words, and she is always using breath mints.



she has been very apologetic since she has sobered up.. but as all of you know by now, I take the less traveled route of treating grown women as adults, so the whole 'it was an accident' routine isn't really flying with me.



she nearly got me, and any number of surrounding motorists killed (as we all know, the drunk asshole tends to be the only one who survives).





while I am no longer furious, I have decided that I need to seriously reevaluate the relationship I have with her.



what would you do in my situation?
 

get it in ya

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if she doesn't do this all the time(getting drunk and driving) then its a mistake. very disrespectful towards you but I'm sure she didn't do it on purpose. its your sister, have a talk with her but I wouldn't let this change your relationship. not to be gay but I lost my twin brother a few years ago, I wish I still had a brother or sister. be easy on her slice:D
 

rgrmedic

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I would definitely let her know how disappointed you are with her. The fact is.. you’re not dead.. It could have been worse but it wasn’t how she conducts herself after this is what really matters
 

little slice

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if she doesn't do this all the time(getting drunk and driving) then its a mistake. very disrespectful towards you but I'm sure she didn't do it on purpose. its your sister, have a talk with her but I wouldn't let this change your relationship. not to be gay but I lost my twin brother a few years ago, I wish I still had a brother or sister. be easy on her slice:D




while im not going to assume that she was being malevolent... im not sure how someone could accidentally drink loads of alcohol and then accidentally get behind the wheel.


no disrespect intended, and I completely understand the sentiment, but the whole 'but they're your family' platitude means nothing to me. would I be expected to care about her as a member of my family if, as a result of her actions last night, I was FUBAR, and left to be fed through a tube for the rest of my life?


there's nothing wrong with wanting a brother or sister... but when they are taking massive gambles with your life..


but I do respect and appreciate your point of view
 

little slice

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I would definitely let her know how disappointed you are with her. The fact is.. you’re not dead.. It could have been worse but it wasn’t how she conducts herself after this is what really matters



true, we're not dead... thanks to my expertise at driving from the passenger seat.




there was a little girl who was killed by a drunk driver in my town a few months back.. sooo..


im not sure that a finger wagging or a stern talk is the solution..
 

little slice

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forgot to mention, she has essentially lived a consequence-free life since conception.


whenever she's gotten in trouble, she was very gently (if actually) punished..




perhaps this treatment reinforced her irresponsibility - as she has always known that she can just turn on the waterworks, and receive her pussy pass.
 

Matsuo Munefusa

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Go ahead and have a talk with her about the drinking. You might not help her change (you might though), but at least you can feel better if something tragic happens because of her drinking. The fact that you say she is always using mints sounds like she may be an alcoholic (and you suspect it). Sooner or later she'll at best get a DUI/get in a wreck.

Rent a car while your car is being repaired like any other normal person would do in your situation.
 
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JETHRO TULL

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One of my sisters has been married 7 times.

No kidding.
After a while I realized she was a dipshit. She is doing okay now, but I avoided her for about ten years. I agree with you on how bad the drunk driving thing is. Sounds like she is not very concerned about your safety or others on the road.
That is a bummer. I would have been pissed too.
 

little slice

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Go ahead and have a talk with her about the drinking. You might not help her change (you might though), but at least you can feel better if something tragic happens because of her drinking. The fact that you say she is always using mints sounds like she may be an alcoholic (and you suspect it). Sooner or later she'll at best get a DUI/get in a wreck.

Rent a car while your car is being repaired like any other normal person would do in your situation.



thank you for your perspective... as crazy as this may sound, she's not an alcoholic. she drinks on occasion, but it's definitely not every day or even most days during the week.


and yeah, I got a rental car



it's a dodge :cool:
 

get it in ya

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thank you for your perspective... as crazy as this may sound, she's not an alcoholic. she drinks on occasion, but it's definitely not every day or even most days during the week.


and yeah, I got a rental car



it's a dodge :cool:

viper? you sold your OMG? lol
 

chinaboy

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The way you describe it it sounds like she has a problem with alcohol. I wouldn't push her away. Be there for her. Family is important and you shouldn't push her away. But at the same time don't get in the car with her again.

Definitely talk to her and see what happens.
 

A50#

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She's your sister and I feel you have no other choice but getting her some help. No matter how mad she makes you or how frustrated you get at the end of the day she's family.
 

little slice

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No kidding.
After a while I realized she was a dipshit. She is doing okay now, but I avoided her for about ten years. I agree with you on how bad the drunk driving thing is. Sounds like she is not very concerned about your safety or others on the road.
That is a bummer. I would have been pissed too.



yeah man, it takes quite a bit to make me angry... and holy shit..



thanks for your post.. im glad im not the only one who takes a more hardline stance on this kinda thing.


I was starting to think that I was crazy... and that maybe a lecture would suffice for almost ruining God knows how many lives
 

ThinkTank

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Honestly? I would man the fuck up and not rely on my sister for rides. .. You got money for drugs but none to put towards a rental or Uber?
 

little slice

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viper? you sold your OMG? lol

yeah I sold my OMG to rent a dodge viper :eek:

The way you describe it it sounds like she has a problem with alcohol. I wouldn't push her away. Be there for her. Family is important and you shouldn't push her away. But at the same time don't get in the car with her again.

Definitely talk to her and see what happens.

I should have included this in the original post, but she doesn't actually have a problem with alcohol... which makes this even more shocking.

She's your sister and I feel you have no other choice but getting her some help. No matter how mad she makes you or how frustrated you get at the end of the day she's family.


I guess im just weird, but like I said above... family doesn't mean anything to me.


I know that sounds really bad, so here's an anecdote that illustrates what I mean by that:

a friend of mine has a father who abused him severely in drunken rages.. would throw his beer bottles at him when he was a child.

his step father is a real godsend tho... a great man.

which man do you think he calls 'dad'?


with that said, I love the members of my family... but it's because I find them lovable... not because they are my family.
 

little slice

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Honestly? I would man the fuck up and not rely on my sister for rides. .. You got money for drugs but none to put towards a rental or Uber?



did you just assume my gender?




look, I appreciate the straight talk. maybe im not as industrious as you are, but

-I crashed my car on the way to work

-she gave me a ride to work

-she drunkenly gave me a ride home from work



not a tremendous amount of time to walk to the dealer and rent a car..
 

get it in ya

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yeah I sold my OMG to rent a dodge viper :eek:



I should have included this in the original post, but she doesn't actually have a problem with alcohol... which makes this even more shocking.




I guess im just weird, but like I said above... family doesn't mean anything to me.


I know that sounds really bad, so here's an anecdote that illustrates what I mean by that:

a friend of mine has a father who abused him severely in drunken rages.. would throw his beer bottles at him when he was a child.

his step father is a real godsend tho... a great man.

which man do you think he calls 'dad'?


with that said, I love the members of my family... but it's because I find them lovable... not because they are my family.


I understand your point. I have a friend that says all the time "just because they are family doesn't mean I have to like them". but everyone will have a different opinion on that
 

A50#

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yeah I sold my OMG to rent a dodge viper :eek:



I should have included this in the original post, but she doesn't actually have a problem with alcohol... which makes this even more shocking.




I guess im just weird, but like I said above... family doesn't mean anything to me.


I know that sounds really bad, so here's an anecdote that illustrates what I mean by that:

a friend of mine has a father who abused him severely in drunken rages.. would throw his beer bottles at him when he was a child.

his step father is a real godsend tho... a great man.

which man do you think he calls 'dad'?


with that said, I love the members of my family... but it's because I find them lovable... not because they are my family.



I do understand what your saying. My real dad was absent most of my life and then committed suicide when I was 13. I had a step father who was an amazing man. I couldn't even be half the man he was and he's the one I call my Dad. Even though our blood is different he's still my father and the mainstay of what I think is a family.

I have 3 sisters myself and I don't get along with all of them particularly well and we all don't agree on the same things but if I knew one of them was in distress of any kind I'd be there to do anything and everything I can for them. Having a sibling is about as close as family as it gets. That's just me bro.
 

Bio

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Honestly? I would man the fuck up and not rely on my sister for rides. .. You got money for drugs but none to put towards a rental or Uber?

He wrecked his car and his sister lives close by. What childhood trauma is haunting you that you have to be so "manly"?
 

Matsuo Munefusa

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thank you for your perspective... as crazy as this may sound, she's not an alcoholic. she drinks on occasion, but it's definitely not every day or even most days during the week.


and yeah, I got a rental car



it's a dodge :cool:

niiiiice, on the car.

Question/food for thought for you: how do you know she's not an alcoholic? I dunno what your relationship is with your sister but its not like we spend 24/7 with our siblings as adults. Plenty of ways to lie, cover up, hide as an addict. Its what alcoholics do best. I know many people that kick back a few but none of them drive when they're hammered like your sister. Alcoholics make those kind of calls and have a real hard time resisting drinking to intoxication even when they have responsibilities. Your OP makes her driving sound real crazy, like she was completely out of control (beyond just being a "bad" driver). Behavior like that screams alcoholism.
 

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