You see the people at your gym more than your family.
-When you start looking at everybody's body to see if they workout
-When you wake up, you check to see if you are sore.
-The UPS guys knows you by first name from all your BB.com orders
-You’re able to choke down can after can of tuna…with ease.
-When you use a 45lb plate as a frisbee
-You get asked to flex on average 5 times daily
-You know the carb/protein/calorie/fat count by heart for several different foods
-When you pee with a stop watch
-You wear an XL shirt and it's tight at the top, but loose at the bottom
-You're able so spell Arnold Schwarzenegger correctly
-Regular gym members come to YOU for supplement advice
-When you get really mad and then calm-down because you see all the veins sticking out of your arms
-Your girlfriend asks you what you did today? and you reply back/biceps.
-No matter how big you get, you will never be "big enough."
-You have your alarm set for meal times
-You have a panic attack when you see only one can of tuna left in the cupboard.
-You get fired from your job for too many bathroom breaks
-When you choke down the most disgusting foods for protein content
-You think of food in terms of functionality, practicality, and
finally taste, rather than the other way around.
-You think of cardio, not scissors, when you hear the
word “cutting.”
-You’ve learned more about the human body from lifting than in
Biology class.
-You read muscle and fitness magazine for entertainment, not
information.
-You know the difference between oatmeal, rolled oats, and
steel oats.
-You can’t remember what McDonald’s food tastes like.
-You take more pills than your grandma who has arthritis and
high blood pressure.
-You’d rather miss an important meeting or date than a
workout.
-You have a whole cabinet or shelf just for your supplemenmts.
-You look at the protein content of foods before anything else.
When u notice ur piss aint clear so u immediatly panic and down a pint of water.
-You begin to appreciate the taste of water.
-Your parents can't understand why you won't sit down and have a family dinner and you insist on making your own food.
-People give you weird looks when you get up three times in one class to take a leak.
-You dont get out of bed for school, but if its gym day your wide awake
-You leave a party or social event because you have to go eat meal #7.
-When you find a bar you start doing chin ups for fun
-When ur pecks are bigger then the freshman and sophmore girls
-You won't workout with ur friends because u worked that muscle group the day before.
-You prefer getting protein powder as a present over clothes
-When you can stare at another guys ass looking for striations an not be gay
-When lowcarb commercials start to really really piss u off
-You check bodybuilding.com store every day to see if new products have arrived
-Bodybuilding.com is your home page
-When you only have two protein servings left...and you start looking out the window every 5 minutes looking for the postman carrying your next batch....you get short tempered and paranoid.
-You cant ignore a reflection
-When chicks say, "you shouldnt get any bigger..."
-When total gym and bowflex commercials send u into rage!!!
-When people can see your back from the front
-When you are walking down the street, and start flying with your lats.
-When you have to have specially made pants, because your quads are too big, and your waist is so small.
-You list you gym memberships on your resume.
-Your friends make fun of you when you have a head of brocolli as part of your lunch
-You know that a 2.5 oz serving of Tuna has 32.5 g of protein and 1.5 g of fat.
-Delay sex with your g/f for another work out
-When you can't finish eating your food and so you shove the remainder in a blender so you can just drink it down.
-When the saying, Goin to the bar, means another set of chins.
-When you're asked what day it is and you reply with a bodypart
-When you start cursing at gap and abercrombie just coz they make the sleeves too small
-When you decide to never mix carbs and fats in a single meal ever again
-When you start getting paraniod that toothpaste might have sugar and thus only brush your teeth post workout
-When you can no longer reach behind to scratch your back
-When u walk by a car and look at ur reflection in the window
-when u know how many veins u have.
-When u eat 40 egg whites a week
-You switch hands while brushing your teeth, just so your left arm gets the same workout as your right arm.
-When you take a dump squatting instead of sitting
-You wanna kill everyone who thinks they are cut, built, and have abs while weighing 115 lbs
-When you are afraid to walk to the store when you are bulking because you will burn calories
-When you feel like crap the day after a workout just because you missed one minute of sleep
-When you have 10 filled 1.5 Ltre bottles lying around.
-When you start guessing how much each person at the gym weighs
-When you curse after every last set of the exercise
-When you know the name of every major muscle in the body.
-You go to the bathroom in the middle of the night to take a piss, and on the way out and as you're about to turn off the lights you take a quick look at yourself in the mirror and do a pose
-You've tried every recipe for tuna there is on the planet
-People ask you at school and work "what the hell do you carry in that bag??" and it's full of snacks, protein shakes, etc.
-You feel good when your shirt's starting to get tighter on you
-After a workout you go take a shower and you can't even lift that soap past your neck cuz it's so damn heavy but it feels so good.
-You can make exercises with any objects
-The shopkeeper tells you they don't have the weights your looking for so you benchpress him out the window.
-When ur girlfriend wants a snack and you come back with a can of tuna and two spoons.
-When you're half asleep and half awake, you dream about doing preacher curls and your hands smack your forehead.
-When you scream while having sex .."lightweight........baby"
-Almost everyone who enters your room thinks yer gay because of all this muscular guys posters on your walls
-Your fantasising about things that interest you, girls, cars, whatever, and then all of a sudden you start to daydream about how your workout is gonna go this day, and you go from picturing yourself f'ing 4 girls, to picturing yourself squatting 4 plates (on each side of course
-When someone asks you to carry a chair you refuse because its not your tricep day
-You can't go to sleep at night unless you've had milk, or cottage cheese.
-When you miss a meal, you can literally "feel" your muscles shrinking.
-You avoid intense labor the day before a workout, so you can preform at your peak the next day.
-You're late for class because you forgot your protien shake, and you had to drive back home to get it.
-The first assumption you make about anyone is how much they can benchpress.
-When you go to the gym with your friend when it's your leg day and end up doing bicep curls just to showoff.
-You start chasing your cats around the house because it's your cardio day.
-When going to the gym is better than going out to clubs or out, because the girls look better at the gym
-You're going away to a hotel for 1 night while bulking and use a trailor to carry all your food.
-When you feel sick and you wanna puke ... but you keep trying not to because of all the protein in your stomach
-Someone calls the police when they see you with a bag of white powder. little do they know that its protein powder.
-Doctors cant stick needles into you beucase your muscles are too hard.
-You always tell your friends “Man, that’s so bad for you” when you see them eating something
-You have uncontrollable gas that smells rancid and you can’t do anything about it, period.
-You want to violently attack the next person who thinks that creatine is a steroid.
-You sleep more than your new baby brother
-Mom cooks two turkeys at Thanksgiving: one for you, one for the family
-Skinny kids are always challenging you to pushup/situp/pullup competitions
-When you get pissed at your gf for taking a bite of your food because it through off the protein count
-You feel VERY bad after eating something you love E.g Fried chicken.
-When you actually searching for a job where they'll let you have a break every 2hrs
-You had a bad workout and literally cried
-You are asked COUNTLESS number of times whether you are in football/wrestling/boxing etc. even though you have NEVER played any of those sports.
-While cutting, you feel like you're getting away with murder when you treat yourself to a 10-calorie sugar free jello snack.
-When you go on Fear Factor and your competion is disgusted to drink 35 spiders, 16 roaches, and 1 cat mixed in a blender, but you are excited to drink it because Joe Rogan told you it contained 2000 grams of protein.
-When you walk past Vitamin world at the mall, and laugh/smile.
-When people think every pill you're taking is some sort of steriod, which is obviously cheating.
-When you keep lifting even though that pain(not a good pain) is killing you. You finish your workout.
-When u hide food to make sure that no one else is gonna eat ur supply
-You're always asking your friends to "hit me there" and marvel at the confusion on their faces when you fail to even wince
-You drink so much water, whenever you piss there's 2 streams.
-You get banned from all you can eat buffets.
-The day after your leg workout, people ask why you're walking like robocop
-When your neck is the same size as your head
-When you walk in a room and start to analyze if people workout and if you can take on everyone in the room.
-When your friends make fun of you eating every 2 hours and you pretend not to hear them but deep inside you are proud of yourself.
-You could train people without having to be a certified trainer
-When you get pulled over driving home after leg day; the cop thinks your drunk but the truth is your legs are so fried you can hardly move them
-You can cook better than your mom
-Your benchpress results decide how happy you are
-When you can look at someone's body and instantaneously figure out their flaws
-When you don't go to the gym for a couple of days, everyone starts getting really worried about you
-When you sit down for a family dinner...everyone has glasses to drink from, you bring your milk jug full of water
-When you start curling a car battary
-When you buy your own food, but you take up 2 or more carts
-You hear someone mention changing their oil, and you think they are referring to flax seed
-Cops pull you over and ask if ur "guns" are registered
-When you friend asks u if u are going to be in the gun show, u flex ur bicep.
-Everytime you sit down you always have to have your back straight
-When you consider laughing as a great ab workout
-You weigh yourself everyday and expect to gain a pound every two days when bulking.
-You learned about the elements on the periodic table from the back of your protein, creatine, and glutamine bottles instead of chemistry class.
-You'd miss a day in the gym before you'd miss a meal.
-People ask you "Are you not working-out today?" instead of "Are you working-out today?"