Time has come: AA

[Steve123]

Bros and Sis',

I'm off to my first AA meeting tonight. Can't promise myself I wont drink but I'm taking this first step. The combination of Bipolar, alcohol and steroids nearly ended my marriage this year (probably even my life on more than one occasion); so, now it's time to begin picking up the pieces. Lots of hard work ahead as I learn to manage these things but the booze has to go.

Anyone whose been there, if you have any words of wisdom, I would love to hear them.

Peace,
Steve

 

[tenny]

good luck brotha

 

[Steve123]

Thanks man. It didn't work out too well tonight.

I drove down there all nervous, sat in my truck for a minute before I went in. The place was mobbed. Finally I conjured up the balls to make my way in there. It seemed everyone was facing me as I walked into this church. The head guy saw me and greeted me and I asked him, "is this an AA meeting". He said, "yes it is but just so you know, it's a Gay/Lesbian AA meeting. You're welcome to stay if you like".

I just said that I mean no offense at all but this is a long term commitement for me and I need to enter it with folks with whom I have a little more in common. I just left at that point.

Man, what a fucked up night. I'll try it again tomorrow. this was so draining though. It is hard to make the commitement to do this, actually go in there and then to have that happen. I just didn't know there was such a thing as a Gay/Lesbo AA meeting.

I have nothing against people who are Gay. beleive me. I just want to get together with some bros my age and older who are dealing with this shit, have families etc.

 

[RexHead]

There are a lot of different groups out there with different dynamics. Go to a few different meetings at different times and different locations and see if you like some better then others.

Try to go to a meeting a day for the next 90 days.

If your wife is really upset with your drinking she may want to go to an al-anon group. I'm not exactly sure what they do there but it seems to have helped my wife and parents.

Get some therapy outside of AA. Try to figure out why you drink to excess and find coping mechanisms.

EDIT: I was posting at the same time you where. You'll see my #1 really applies in your situation. Just keep trying. You may not like the next meeting or two but you'll find a group you'll connect with soon.

 

[Steve123]

There are a lot of different groups out there with different dynamics. Go to a few different meetings at different times and different locations and see if you like some better then others.

Try to go to a meeting a day for the next 90 days.

If your wife is really upset with your drinking she may want to go to an al-anon group. I'm not exactly sure what they do there but it seems to have helped my wife and parents.

Get some therapy outside of AA. Try to figure out why you drink to excess and find coping mechanisms.

Thanks bro. There are lots of reasons and I'm definitely getting therapy too. Lots of life events, PTSD, etc. Sometimes understanding yourself goes far.

You seem to know allot about this. Thanks for your response and keep them coming if you have ideas. I'm not new to being an alcohol abuser; I am new to introspection.

 

[RexHead]

Thanks bro. There are lots of reasons and I'm definitely getting therapy too. Lots of life events, PTSD, etc. Sometimes understanding yourself goes far.

That was a big part of the equation I did not find in AA. I thought AA was a great way to get the support and social network I needed to stay away from alcohol and drugs. But for me, it didn't deal with the root cause of my issues and I needed to address those also. So it was the combination of both that worked for me.

You seem to know allot about this. Thanks for your response and keep them coming if you have ideas. I'm not new to being an alcohol abuser; I am new to introspection.

Unfortunately I do. It's not something I ever wanted to gain any type of knowledge or experience with. I haven't drank in 3+ years and I can honestly say I'm at a point where the thought of alcohol or drugs disgusts me. That doesn't mean I don't get tempted, and those temptations are VERY, VERY strong. But they are short lived, less and less frequent, and I've pulled through them.

I used to live my life with alcohol being the focal point. If we were going to a happy hour, company function, wedding, trip, etc, I wanted to know if there was going to be alcohol and I always drank. Now I concentrate on the event and enjoy being there with an unclouded mind. The ups and downs of life are so much better without alcohol. I actually enjoy the struggles of life now and feel like a stronger person for pulling through them without any type of substance.

I could fall off the wagon at anytime (and I have in the past) so I'm not trying to be holier-than-thou...just trying to share my experience and let you know there is a much better life out there without alcohol.

 

[Steve123]

Thanks REx,

This is good info. One of the things that is tough is that it seems my whole life revolves around alcohol. Everyone I spend time with drinks. The one person who could take or leave it, thank god, is my wife; which I think is going to be a big success factor here. Not only for me an drinking but for me and her too.

But, man, all my other friends/family drink; Every family event involves heavy drinking. The times I've quit for a stretch - e.g., during a contest prep - I was like a social lepar. Now it's such a habit. It's like so engrained in me that I can't even imagine cooking out on the grill on my sun deck without drinking a few beers.

Has to be done though. Hell, it may even be easier to stay in good shape off-season!

Thanks again

 

[oldfella]

Hang in there brother. Any addiction is hard to kick. But you have taken the first step to fighting it off. You admitted to it and took the very positive first steps to helping yourself. Don't let the sexuality of that first meeting put you off. At the end of the day they are all there for the same reasons you went there. So you still have a common thread. But take the advice given earlier, go to different meetings at different locations. Meet new people and form the support network you all need. Congratulations for having the strength and conviction to face your problem. Good luck bro and remember............there are good people right here with addictions of sorts. We will help you and lend an ear to keep you on track. But also help yourself first and foremost. It is then that help will come from wonderful places.. All the best mate!!!

 

[carrierdome]

Congrats on the decision to do something brother. It took me losing my wife, children, 2 houses, 12 year job and a short prison stint to finally get to AA. I tried everything including antabuse, campral, and naltroxene. Rational Recovery, you name it. AA is the only thing that helped me.

Just keep going to the meetings. Soon you will hear speakers that you can totally relate to. Get the book and go to Open meetings. Closed meetings are more long term sobriety and are good but you hear a lot of big book stuff which is key but something you want to get into slowly.

What I did was go to about 8 different meeting in my area until I got to know people. Then I joined a group and became an active member. I got a sponser and he is a cool guy. Only 49 and has 20 yrs. of sobriety. He owns a Harley dealership, very successful. I needed a sponser that could not only help me stay sober, but guide me. A mentor so to speak.

Well, good luck on your journey. Just keep going to meetings. Its only an hour or so and eventually you will get it. Fake it till you make it.

 

[thebrick]

My humble advice

When you crave that drink, remember how you feel about yourself the next day after a drinking stint. Better yet, don't keep a drop in the house to tempt yourself.

Keep your mind and body busy with constructive tasks. Your relationships, your training, your job, etc. Recognize those times when your are at your "weakest" and do something to change the pattern.

Find friends that are supportive, non-drinkers that have been where you are. Talking with those that understand your fight is healing for you. Stay away from the ones that are bad influences on you, even your own family if it comes to that. Drinkers don't like to be around sober people. It makes them uncomfortable and they will belittle you or even pressure you to come down to their level. Use the phone to check on family or friends if you have too.

Tackle this only one day at a time. Don't worry if you can stay sober for a month or a year. One day at a time, brother, sometimes one hour at a time.

 

[triathloncoach]

My AA experience

No drinking for nearly 2.5 years. It was tough, but to keep drinking was tougher. I did it on my own, although AA is a great organization.

About 15 years ago I was living in NYC and decided to go to a AA meeting. I was in sales at the time and walked into a meeting full of homeless who were there only because of a judge requiring them to go. I left. Too bad I didn't stick around, or at least go to a different meeting. I might have avoided another 10 years of drinking.

Steve - be proud of yourself. And don't quit if you fall off once or twice. Sobriety is sweet. It's amazing waking up everyday not feeling remorseful and tired.

PM me if I can be of any help.

 

[NotaDoctor]

As I sobered up and I had to face a Fkn mess. I had hurt my family so bad I did not think I could ever repair things. Thank God my family stuck by me.

Keep trying on the meetings and find a sponsor.

I know its hard, but one day at a time..

 

[Steve123]

Thanks Everyone. I pretty much blew it this week and drank again but I'm back at it today and will get to some of the meetings this week.

I started today off well. Good healthy breakfast. I will get my meals made for the week and get ready to be productive.

I appreciate all of you brining your comments/experience/advice. This is more helpfull that you can imagine. Not only is it insightfull but it also shows me just how many people have been hooked by the balls with this.

The last contest I did, I went 6 months without a drink. I never felt better in my life! Be nice to get that back because I feel like crap right now. It's too bad because I hit the gym like it's a religion and eat with discipline.

In the end though, this damn drinking is robbing me blind. It costs money, it takes away from physique progress, it strains relationships, makes me irritable and anxious the next day, less productive.

I'm going to use this thread as a motivational tool. I will get back on here and provide honest feedback on how this is going- good or bad.

Thanks again.

 

[RexHead]

Thanks REx,

This is good info. One of the things that is tough is that it seems my whole life revolves around alcohol. Everyone I spend time with drinks. The one person who could take or leave it, thank god, is my wife; which I think is going to be a big success factor here. Not only for me an drinking but for me and her too.

But, man, all my other friends/family drink; Every family event involves heavy drinking. The times I've quit for a stretch - e.g., during a contest prep - I was like a social lepar. Now it's such a habit. It's like so engrained in me that I can't even imagine cooking out on the grill on my sun deck without drinking a few beers.

Has to be done though. Hell, it may even be easier to stay in good shape off-season!

Thanks again

I was the same way and I'm going to guess that the majority of people who are drinking are in the same boat. Alcoholics/heavy drinkers associate with other drinkers and it consumes their live.

I laid it on the line with my family and friends. I told them I'm quitting drinking, I would like their support, and I understand if they can't give it. The people that stuck by my side were my true friends and the rest can fuck off. Sure I lost some friends and I'm not as close to some family members, but I'm even closer to the guys who helped me and encouraged me. I also made new friends and my life is so much better.

In the beginning it was awkward saying I don't drink. I let drinking define me and I also felt embarrassed because I was saying I had a problem. After awhile (and with the help of therapy) I have no problem telling people I don't drink. I don't have to get into the specifics if I don't want to because it's no-one's business, but I also have no problem expressing why I don't drink.

You need to replace your drinking with something positive that your passionate about. For me that is lifting, diet, and health. I'm probably addicted to all those but at least it's positive. My wife would rather have me at the gym 5 days a week for an hour than out 5 days a week for hours (maybe days) doing shit she couldn't even imagine.

It's not going to be easy at first. But look at it as a challenge. Push yourself to mentally overcome this obstacle in your life.

 

[gettnlarge01]

glad to see your doing whats needed steve for you and your family. It wont be the easiest to do but it will be the most rewarding.

 

[Steve123]

I was the same way and I'm going to guess that the majority of people who are drinking are in the same boat. Alcoholics/heavy drinkers associate with other drinkers and it consumes their live.

I laid it on the line with my family and friends. I told them I'm quitting drinking, I would like their support, and I understand if they can't give it. The people that stuck by my side were my true friends and the rest can fuck off. Sure I lost some friends and I'm not as close to some family members, but I'm even closer to the guys who helped me and encouraged me. I also made new friends and my life is so much better.

In the beginning it was awkward saying I don't drink. I let drinking define me and I also felt embarrassed because I was saying I had a problem. After awhile (and with the help of therapy) I have no problem telling people I don't drink. I don't have to get into the specifics if I don't want to because it's no-one's business, but I also have no problem expressing why I don't drink.

You need to replace your drinking with something positive that your passionate about. For me that is lifting, diet, and health. I'm probably addicted to all those but at least it's positive. My wife would rather have me at the gym 5 days a week for an hour than out 5 days a week for hours (maybe days) doing shit she couldn't even imagine.

It's not going to be easy at first. But look at it as a challenge. Push yourself to mentally overcome this obstacle in your life.

I like your attitude about this. I'm going to just totally emerse myself in the bodybuilding at this point. Come summer time, I'm taking up Surfing.. Summer will be a challenge but if I have an activity that doesn't include drinking, it will be easier. Also, I agree, if people don't like it, they can all fuck off. I don't care at this point. The only true friend I have is my Wife, who, while she has MANY good reasons not to, has stuck with me through all of this.

glad to see your doing whats needed steve for you and your family. It wont be the easiest to do but it will be the most rewarding.

Thanks Man. This will be hard for sure but I have to beleive that life gets better and that some day I will enjoy life without liquor. I mean, when I was a little kid I had fun without drinking.

Doesn't help that I'm litterally surrounded by people who are alcoholics in denial.
Thanks for the support.

 

[njpooldude]

Hey steve,,

"It works if you work it!"

The program and 12 steps that is.

Im not sure about aa, but i know na actually had some online meetings.. Of course not better then a real meeting but if you get a crave and cant get to a meeting, i believe the online meetings are 24/7

good luck man.. and say that serenity prayer 1000times a day if you have to.
one day, or one minute at a time... whatever you need

 

[njpooldude]

AAOnline.net--Realtime Open AA Meetings on the Internet

 

[Steve123]

Thanks man! This is good to have - i.e., web link.

I am working on a few days not without any booze. It's really not all that bad. While I do get cravings, they only last a little while and are gone. The thing is though, I'm tired, pissing all night, and just a little groggy. Not sure if that's my body trying to repair itself.

I am getting through my workouts and they are productive but I feel like taking a nap after. I took this week off to try to get ahead of this thing. My goal right now is not to never drink again; it's to start by getting through a couple of weeks. Then I'll take it from there.

 

[njpooldude]

awesome man... it was important for me to get a few phone nunbers from other dudes at the meetings around my age. Ones that had a year + clean.
I hate talking to ppl i dont know.. but it helped a few times.

Keep at it man... keep a bucket next to the bed, and just roll over and wiz lol..