Buy Needles And Syringes With No Prescription
M4B Store Banner
ddd
Riptropin Store banner
Generation X Bodybuilding Forum
Buy Needles And Syringes With No Prescription
Buy Needles And Syringes With No Prescription
Mysupps Store Banner
IP Gear Store Banner
Anabolic Hormones Store Banner
Ganabol Store Banner
Spend $100 and get bonus needles free at sterile syringes
Professional Muscle Store open now
LandmarkChem Email Banner
Medtech Store Banner
Bruce Labs Store banner
qtropin
Professional Muscle Store open now
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
Buy Needles And Syringes With No Prescription
ESPECIL-2
Buy Needles And Syringes With No Prescription
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store
over 5000 supplements on sale at professional muscle store

Contemplating Divorce

dragonfire101

Well-known member
Kilo Klub Member
Registered
Joined
Sep 25, 2002
Messages
5,881
Wife moved out to her parents and now we are contemplating divorce.:(
 

hawkmoon

Featured Member / Kilo Klub
Featured Member
Kilo Klub Member
Registered
Joined
Sep 6, 2008
Messages
1,891
Sorry to hear that man.

Is there a history behind this?
 

marilyn

Featured Member / Kilo Klub
Featured Member
Kilo Klub Member
Joined
Oct 9, 2008
Messages
1,772
sorry about that as it sounds like you don't want this. Hope you can work it out, but if not, I hope you will be ok.
 

Tyrone

Moderator/Featured Member/ Kilo Klub
Featured Member
Kilo Klub Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 14, 2006
Messages
5,367
I'm so sorry about the situation my friend...All I know is that the grass is always greener on the other side, but not really...I think your woman needs to figure that out. Maybe try getting her to move away from her parents, indirectly....
 

aeliop

New member
Kilo Klub Member
Joined
Apr 1, 2005
Messages
1,903
It is really rough

Wife moved out to her parents and now we are contemplating divorce.:(
I know man it sucks and it really hurts. I can imagine all that is on your mind, your actions everything. I am no expert but I would be happy to help in anyway I can. Sometimes support can help, other times you need that alone time. If you want to talk in private I am here to listen to you. If you want to talk in this open forum where others can chime in with what we have to say I think the extra support would be great as well. Maybe we can get you through this. Trust me I know how tough this can be and if there is anything I can do just let me know.
 

triathloncoach

Featured Member / Kilo Klub / Board Supporter
Featured Member
Board Supporter
Joined
Jun 5, 2008
Messages
4,425
Try to control your pain

Do what is in your control to get to where you want to be with your wife. Whatever that is. Man it's gonna hurt no matter what. But try to calm your mind and realize however it plays out, people get through these things. You and your wife may even end up with a better marriage together from this. Sometimes we need to hit rock bottom. You are not alone.
 

ajdos

Featured Member / Kilo Klub
Featured Member
Kilo Klub Member
Joined
Jul 19, 2005
Messages
5,057
Sorry to hear this, but I went through one recently and it was actually a vast improvement in my life.
Its funny how hard it is to see things are gonna be ok until you get through something like that.
Dont know if you have children with her, its hard on them and they end up being the real losers in a divorce.
Good luck.
 

wrought

New member
Registered
Joined
Aug 11, 2005
Messages
192
It happens and sometimes its what needs to happen for both people to be happy (whether that means being happy separately or renewing the relationship).

Good luck and remember that things always get better.
 

finny

Member
Registered
Joined
Feb 3, 2007
Messages
437
It's tough...I don't know how long the two of you have been married for, but it seems that at around 8 years problems seem to creep in. My wife and I went through. If it weren't for the kids, I don't think you would still be together.

Long story short, you're more in love now than when we started, there is more understanding, the sex couldn't be better. It all good...

You're in a difficult situation as your wife had moved out, at least for now. At the time, it wasn't an option for either one of us. If is difficult when one move out. You loose closeness, staying in touch, and it's very easy for one to 'fall out of love'.

If you want your merriage to survive, I would show support, keep in close contact, maybe invite the mother and the wife out for dinner, etc. Not sure if the kids are involved...I would try to be understanding without any undo pressure, etc.

A lot of these things can be worked through if the sides are open and patient...
 

Jello

Moderator/Kilo Klub
Staff member
Moderator
Registered
Joined
Dec 7, 2007
Messages
4,364
I hope it can be worked out, sometimes all you need is a break.
 

dragonfire101

Well-known member
Kilo Klub Member
Registered
Joined
Sep 25, 2002
Messages
5,881
We been together over 10yrs and married 3, living together about 5. No kids. She is a good woman and will make someone happy if we don’t stay together and will be a good mother and she is very caring. We are just different culturally we are very similar, but very different. We are both polish, catholic went to same college have similar beliefs, but culturally I’m third generation American and she and her family are from Poland. Issues are her family comes before me. She has even said it. I believe he is actually enmeshed with them. She has no friends and only her family as an example of what is typical norms and nothing to gauge what are social norms to anything else. She is stuck in these old European roles. She feels I should be home from work everyday at 5:30 and that’s what being married is. She can’t even con conceptualize people have hobbies they do after work like play softball on a team anything actually. I don’t do any of those things. I don’t go drink with buddies none of that. I might go for a walk at the mall 30min before I go home to wind done and or sometimes go to a buddies to shoot the shit on way home for no longer than 30 min. that’s it. She expects me to be with her all the time. She at her parents all the time almost every day and then they call 5 min after she gets home. Her whole immediate family calls her to do everything. Her brother to cancel his gym membership, parents to pay bills, make phone calls her mother even called to ask her to go to our fridge to look at back of ketchup bottle and list the ingredients because she wanted to make ketchup. She has a internet and her own ketchup and knows how to read write better English than me. Her family wants the whole family over every weekend and I have to sit there for 6 hrs listening talk polish when they can talk English accept her father, but everyone else can. They do this all the time. They don’t even have someone say what they said. I feel like an outsider and feel although my ethnicity is polish I’m American that’s the issue as well. They are always so anti-American or negative. If they do talk to me it’s to insult me. Like typical American cant learn another language. Stuff like that and then anything American sucks. I sitting watching a HUMMER commercial and its the Russians made a better one. Also I grew up in inner city my best man was black and all my grooms men were accept her brother who is racist. Only time he talks English it to male racist remarks and use the “N” word in front of me purposely. So I guess me issues are a little different than some may think or many other couples have.
 

StealthwHealth

New member
Registered
Joined
Aug 31, 2010
Messages
69
Sorry to hear this brother. I've been through the whole divorce process (with children). It will take a bit of a toll on you if this is what you so choose to do, but I'm glad there aren't children involved bro. It's been 4 years & we are now the best of friends (go figure), mainly for the kids' sake though.

As for the old school European family, the current relationship I'm in now is VERY similar, although family is Latino, same issues bro. She does EVERYTHING for the family at their beck & call, even though they damn well can do it themselves. It's just a sort of respect thing they have for family but it's degrading at the same time.

Anyway bro, I think some sort of counseling, whether it be on your own or with your wife to help get a 3rd party's perspective on issues would REALLy help in the healing process. I used to be totally against counseling but it truly saved my sanity during the divorce. Keep posting as much as you need here bro to get things off your chest. It will certainly help you mentally & emotionally.
 

hawkmoon

Featured Member / Kilo Klub
Featured Member
Kilo Klub Member
Registered
Joined
Sep 6, 2008
Messages
1,891
This sounds very difficult as there is little you can do (or she would be willing to do) to change the situation.

I have to ask though, as you have been together for 10 years - did you not see this situation as a possibility? I know we can be blinded by love. I certainly was.
 

finah

New member
Newbies
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
44
Pick up a book called Divorce Busters, any library should have it, both of u should read it and if u can go to a marriage counselor man, no reason ur marriage can't be fixed. Good luck dude.
 

dragonfire101

Well-known member
Kilo Klub Member
Registered
Joined
Sep 25, 2002
Messages
5,881
Pick up a book called Divorce Busters, any library should have it, both of u should read it and if u can go to a marriage counselor man, no reason ur marriage can't be fixed. Good luck dude.
I will check it out... I actually set up counseling a month ago things seem worse now. She did make some attempts to improve things. I sometimes get to stay 4hrs at parents now instead of all day and she did tell her brother to stop making all those racial comments. That was only after I told her if he said it around the wrong person he probably get his face broken in....Her view on the whole thing was " I cant change him he is allowed to have his beliefs and say what he wants in this country freedom of speech and think how you want"

I told her that is fine when he says something to the wrong person they are allowed to have their beliefs and think how they want, which might be "to bust a cap in his ass"

Instead she took away my only sanctuary the gym. she had her family sign up at the same gym as me. in the 10 years i known them they never worked out and there are several gyms in the area they could sign up at. her mother cant go unless my wife goes with her. THIS IS MADNESS.
 

triathloncoach

Featured Member / Kilo Klub / Board Supporter
Featured Member
Board Supporter
Joined
Jun 5, 2008
Messages
4,425
Ugh

Dragon, I'm married with kids - 12 years now and we have our share of problems. Mostly my fault. But we are staying together.

I hate to be so negative, but I could never endure your situation. Never, ever.

My sincere best wishes to you.
 

ICU11b

Member
Registered
Joined
Apr 15, 2008
Messages
402
This sounds very difficult as there is little you can do (or she would be willing to do) to change the situation.
^^This. If it dosent work out... Make sure you choke her brother & tell the family what you think of them & their actions. Sometimes you need to disrespect someone to earn their respect. Its a two way street...
 

wrought

New member
Registered
Joined
Aug 11, 2005
Messages
192
Well its been 10 years so I'm guessing you're pretty well versed in the cultural differences....but still, is there a reason that you haven't stood up and done the things that you want and make you happy instead of following her lead?

You can't have a functional marriage where one person is living the life they want (your wife) and dictating their life to other person (you). Both sides need to be able to do what makes them happy and compromise when those things start to get in the way (and by compromise I don't mean that one person has to stop doing things completely).
 

Jello

Moderator/Kilo Klub
Staff member
Moderator
Registered
Joined
Dec 7, 2007
Messages
4,364
Wow, that's a tuff situation you're in Bro. I understand trying to keep her happy but you shouldn't be doing it at the cost of your own happiness.
 

dragonfire101

Well-known member
Kilo Klub Member
Registered
Joined
Sep 25, 2002
Messages
5,881
This sounds very difficult as there is little you can do (or she would be willing to do) to change the situation.

I have to ask though, as you have been together for 10 years - did you not see this situation as a possibility? I know we can be blinded by love. I certainly was.
yes and no. she lived with them up until a year before we got married. i figured the whole enmeshment thing could be cultural, but also because she was young and leaving home. the first year we lived together everyone was calling even my family friends all the time and overly involved because ewe were planning a wedding. i figure it would all stop once the wedding was over. i figure i was not marrying her brother and would not see his racist ass much and neither would my friends so it would not be issue. i think we live to close to her brother and parents also, which is a problem. her brother lives not even 2 miles up the road and her parents about 5 miles. I'm on east coast maybe i should give it a second chance and move to arizona or something with her.
 

Staff online

  • Bio
    Moderator
  • LATS
    Moderator / FOUNDING Member / NPC Judge

Forum statistics

Total page views
502,731,437
Threads
123,531
Messages
2,355,536
Members
155,152
Latest member
james5211
Top