I NEED THE PROFESSIONAL MUSCLE FAMILY HELP!!!

[nuteboy]

I met a woman several months earlier and we have been dating. To tell you a bit about her she is 31 years old. She has four kids that she raises herself. She does an excellent job because they’re great kids and very well behave.

My concern is the “male friends” she has that she knew before she and I began dating. Many are not your typical male friends that she grew up knowing or attending the same school or church. Many are men she contacting via Myspace and they text or email each other from time to time. In a recent conversation, I explained to her some of these Myspace men she needs to erase their picture from her cell phone as well as their phone number.

I want to know if I’m asking for too much that she does not have men from Myspace on her cell phone where she sometime text? One male friend she exchanged phone numbers and pictures she has texted with for nearly a year. Although they never met, she asked of his opinion regarding me and her. Something that was intimate. I did not like this and express this to her. Thus, I want to know if I’m over reacting.

Is it normal for a woman to seriously date a man that is considerate, loving, caring to her and her kids and financially responsible to her and her kids have multiple “Myspace male friends” that she has exchanged innocent profile pictures with stored in her phone? Some of these men she has texted here and there. nothing serious just conversation. However, there was one that she shared information about our relationship with.

I want to be as fair as I can so I get a correct reply.

 

[HOTROCKS]

What do you think?

 

[tenny]

i would say she is NOT raising 4 kids alone

sorry bro

 

[nuteboy]

Well she is raising four kids alone. Now she is getting child support from the father but that's as far as it go.

I just want a honest clear answer. I don't want to be bias so I want to be fair and tell the story exactly how it is. No making up anything nor adding anything.

Personally I do not think it's okay for her to have "male friends" that she exchanged pictures and phone numbers with from Myspace nor do I think it's okay to discuss what she and I do with them but I wanted your opinion.

 

[tenny]

number one

with 4 kids....there with always be a "backdoor" open
unless you totally commit to her and adopt the kids
and provide MORE than just what they need
they WILL always be FIRST to her

and i dont know you at ALL

so IF she sees you as a typical "fucked in the head" "insecure"
bodybuilder YOU dont stand a chance in hell

 

[michelin]

If she sees you as something serious she would not have multiple male friends that she texts and swaps pics with.

I'm hearing warning bells all over your posts bro.

Maybe shes not as serious about you as you are about her. Maybe this is how she conducts herself and you are expecting too much? Maybe youre putting your effort into something that isnt worth it.

Maybe youre better off finding someone without multiple male friends and all these complications?

Its not supposed to be this difficult

 

[nuteboy]

If she sees you as something serious she would not have multiple male friends that she texts and swaps pics with.

I'm hearing warning bells all over your posts bro.

Maybe shes not as serious about you as you are about her. Maybe this is how she conducts herself and you are expecting too much? Maybe youre putting your effort into something that isnt worth it.

Maybe youre better off finding someone without multiple male friends and all these complications?

Its not supposed to be this difficult

I get you and you're correct. We had a LONGGG discussion and she saw that I did not like this so she erased the pictures. However, it took me having to convience her and I didn't feel good having to do that. To me it's common sense but to her it was not.

 

[michelin]

I get you and you're correct. We had a LONGGG discussion and she saw that I did not like this so she erased the pictures. However, it took me having to convience her and I didn't feel good having to do that. To me it's common sense but to her it was not.

Just have a plan of how youre going to deal with things when these guys get back in touch cos they will. Youre going to look like the bad guy and only you know if its all worth it.

Good luck bro

 

[pesty4077]

I personally don't see a problem with myspace friends or any male friends. Sounds to me you are either insecure or don't trust her. Either way, you will never have a good relationship. 4 kids? Are you kidding me? Wait until the honeymoon is over and responsibility takes over.

 

[nuteboy]

I personally don't see a problem with myspace friends or any male friends. Sounds to me you are either insecure or don't trust her. Either way, you will never have a good relationship. 4 kids? Are you kidding me? Wait until the honeymoon is over and responsibility takes over.

Yeah i don't mind Myspace buddies but these are men she has in her cell phone that they've exchanged photos and she has discussed our personal relationship to.

I dont mind Myspace male friends as long as they're not trying to message my woman for sex or give her advice on our personal relationship NOR in her cell phone.

Is that normal? Would you be okay with that sort of relationship where your girl has male buddies she's met from Myspace and they've exchanged phone numbers and pictures and she texts these men for opinions regarding your relationship? That is what I do not like. As for the kids, they're fine and she does an excellent job in that section.

 

[pesty4077]

Yeah i don't mind Myspace buddies but these are men she has in her cell phone that they've exchanged photos and she has discussed our personal relationship to.

I dont mind Myspace male friends as long as they're not trying to message my woman for sex or give her advice on our personal relationship NOR in her cell phone.

Is that normal? Would you be okay with that sort of relationship where your girl has male buddies she's met from Myspace and they've exchanged phone numbers and pictures and she texts these men for opinions regarding your relationship? That is what I do not like. As for the kids, they're fine and she does an excellent job in that section.

She does an excellant job with her kids??? What are you thinking? You think she doesn't want someone to help with them? Including finances? How old are you? I Have 2 kids and it is a huge responsibility, you can never really get that alone time with her as you think with kids. I don't know her personally with her texting sklls, but if it makes you uncomfortable, you probally should look elsewhere. Personally my wife is not on myspace, to me it is a site for kids. She does have male friends, just like I have female friends. We have enough trust in each other, so it does not bother us. You on the other hand do not trust her, that is obvious. You need to probally get someone you feel more comfortable with, and I would suggest without kids. If you don't have a kids, trust me, you don't have a clue of the huge responsibility.

 

[marilyn]

my opinion

It sounds like she just may not be serious at this time..could be the marriage/relationship she had previously.....she may have trust issues, and doesnt want to settle down yet.

You do need to let her know what your feelings are, and that this bothers you, and take your cue from the response she gives you.

she may just want relationships from a far that require no real commitment. But we dont know her, you do, so I would have a conversation with her.

 

[duke123]

It sounds like she just may not be serious at this time..could be the marriage/relationship she had previously.....she may have trust issues, and doesnt want to settle down yet.

You do need to let her know what your feelings are, and that this bothers you, and take your cue from the response she gives you.

she may just want relationships from a far that require no real commitment. But we dont know her, you do, so I would have a conversation with her.

This is great advice."Take your cue from her responses".Also from her body language.From my experience asking her to delete pictures or stop communication with her male friends will not go well even if you think she is ok with it.Let her do what she wants to do and observe.There could be many reasons that she holds on to or values these relationships with these men.Some might not be healthy ones.Becareful Bro.but take one day at a time.Good relationships are a work in progress that last forever.Or it ends someday.Only God knows that one.Have fun with it.If it becomes a burden too soon these are red flags.Good luck and Happy Holidays

 

[bloodshed]

i personally wouldnt find that very threatening for 2 reasons. 1)she knew them before she started dating you. if she was going to do something with them it would be likely she already would have. and 2)she speaks about her relationship with you to them, so they know full well she is in a relationship and she's expressing the fact that she is. i find this situation fairly harmless. if she was hiding the fact she was in a relationship i would be worried, but she clearly is not.

 

[nuteboy]

i personally wouldnt find that very threatening for 2 reasons. 1)she knew them before she started dating you. if she was going to do something with them it would be likely she already would have. and 2)she speaks about her relationship with you to them, so they know full well she is in a relationship and she's expressing the fact that she is. i find this situation fairly harmless. if she was hiding the fact she was in a relationship i would be worried, but she clearly is not.

Well there's more to the story then i presented. Such as some of the "myspace" buddies tried hooking up with her and she once had men in her phone that she did hook up with. When we started seriously dating , I told her she need to delete their numbers and she did.

I don't think it's about hiding something but respect. After talking with other friends it's not normal to have men from Myspace #'s stored in your cell phone, even if there's nothing going on.

If this was a genuien male friend, it's cool but from her past and the men she's attracting I did not like it.

 

[Oldlifter]

Good relationships are a work in progress that last forever.

Yes indeed!

 

[bloodshed]

Well there's more to the story then i presented. Such as some of the "myspace" buddies tried hooking up with her and she once had men in her phone that she did hook up with. When we started seriously dating , I told her she need to delete their numbers and she did.

I don't think it's about hiding something but respect. After talking with other friends it's not normal to have men from Myspace #'s stored in your cell phone, even if there's nothing going on.

If this was a genuien male friend, it's cool but from her past and the men she's attracting I did not like it.

understood. there are the harmless guys that are just friends that i wouldnt worry about, but ones that try hooking up with her a definitely ones to look out for.

 

[hawkmoon]

understood. there are the harmless guys that are just friends that i wouldnt worry about, but ones that try hooking up with her a definitely ones to look out for.

I feel your concern nuteboy.
But as bloodshed says some guys are harmless. Just for reference I am one of those guys that can be very close to a girl and will never even think of moving on her if she is with someone.
There aren't many of us, but we are out there...

 

[jalsmiley]

I feel your concern nuteboy.
But as bloodshed says some guys are harmless. Just for reference I am one of those guys that can be very close to a girl and will never even think of moving on her if she is with someone.
There aren't many of us, but we are out there...

its a wolf in sheeps clothing nuteboy...dont fall for it!!hahaha jk hawk...i believe ya! NOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!lol

btw nuteboy...remmeber if she gets alimony she would lose that part of money if she remarries..so she may have a "wall" up for serious relationships unless she sees them as serious provider$$$$$

 

[wostok]

I guess she has been lonely taking care of the kids you know, havent really had time to go out much etc, so when shes at the computer she may tried to be "social" online while the kids are busy or sleeping whatever...

Well the only thing you can do is to be her best friend and boyfriend that she needed and wanted when she was alone.

And i dont know if you should forbid her to talk to them... cause even if it sounds fucked up i bet she kind of sees them as her friends... lol...

But you can make her forget her internet friends, give her lots of love and fill her memory with memorys of good times with YOU!

Good luck man