marriage counselling...

[Goody]

Just curious...My wife and I went to our first session the other night...it was interesting to say the least. I have never been to any type of therapy or counselling before so didnt really know what to expect. My wife, however, is a counselor by profession so im sure it wasnt as strange to her...

Just wondering who here has went through it and what did you get out of it...what were the positives and the negatives? Any advice you could give would be most appreciated.

 

[Anarky]

been going through it now for almost 8 months. dont really know why you are going but both parties have to be willing to listen before its beneficial. also some of the negatives are you may learn things you thought you knew to be true and be caught totally off guard. benefits are if you are completely open and honest you could become very much closer to your spouse. best of luck to you!

 

[Goody]

Thanks for the response...wow 8 months huh? thats a long time but these things take time I guess...We are there basically because my wifes lack of affection and intimacy..I really cant take it anymore. Im too young to deal with that for the rest of my life. Those issues are really the core of our problems...I actually hope I learn some new things even if they are painful..anything to explain why she has changed so much. We have two great little boys together so this is worth giving it a good fight.
Anybody else?

 

[Anarky]

We have 3 kids our selves, we are both 34. Our problem is similar to yours but its two sided. It started out with us going because I seem to have an attitude problem, but right off the bat my attitude stems from lack of intimacy and attention. Hope you have a good person u are seeing cause that can make all the difference in the world. While your going through this if you ever need to talk off forum shoot me a pm, and again the best of luck to you both!

 

[JuiceRoad.com]

Thanks for the response...wow 8 months huh? thats a long time but these things take time I guess...We are there basically because my wifes lack of affection and intimacy..I really cant take it anymore. Im too young to deal with that for the rest of my life. Those issues are really the core of our problems...I actually hope I learn some new things even if they are painful..anything to explain why she has changed so much. We have two great little boys together so this is worth giving it a good fight.
Anybody else?

My gf from last two years is telling me that now i lack affection and love for her. I guess i need some help too.

 

[Goody]

Wow...our situations are almost identical...I have the attitude too...I get angry way easy anymore...was always so laid back...like you it stems from the lack of attention/affection also...certainly 2 sided. Also she is overweight and that is tough on her self esteem..and quite frankly im not always interested in being intimate with her cause it just looks awful...and I got so used to being turned down Im not really into trying hard anymore..Really hope we can fix all this...
Curious, how often do you meet with your therapist? Right now were every 2 weeks but I kinda feel like thats not enough...thanks again.

 

[Anarky]

Wow...our situations are almost identical...I have the attitude too...I get angry way easy anymore...was always so laid back...like you it stems from the lack of attention/affection also...certainly 2 sided. Also she is overweight and that is tough on her self esteem..and quite frankly im not always interested in being intimate with her cause it just looks awful...and I got so used to being turned down Im not really into trying hard anymore..Really hope we can fix all this...
Curious, how often do you meet with your therapist? Right now were every 2 weeks but I kinda feel like thats not enough...thanks again.

we meet once a week. and to be quite honest with you it was me that was out of shape a year ago. i am in outside sales and didnt tell her what i was doing. i started busting my ass in the gym went from 5"10 240lbs to 210 of muscle. the tides have turned and as they were turning i was accused having someone else. if you have true problems then it will not matter what her weight is. i am not a laid back person at all, never have been. normally if i have something to say i just say it. i have also never believed in meds to keep me calm or therapist. starting to wonder about the meds though.