Need some advice, i'm lost?!?!?!

[flexmaster]

first off if you are going to make a joke about this then dont even bother, i wat this to be serious. please dont post anything other than honest advice, thanks guys. so my girlfriend watches these 2 kids mon-fri afternoons. one is an 8 yr old girl named cammy and the other is a 13 yr old boy named aaron. aaron wanted to start lifting weights for baseball so my girlfriend asked me to show him some stuff, no problem. i wrote him a routine and showed him through it. later that week he emailed me thanking me for the routine, and then telling me how hot my girfriend is, but not to worry he wont hit on her. i didn't care because he is 13 yr old and hormones going everywhere. but the next week my girlfreind tells me all 3 of them were wrestling around and he kissed her on the lips and ran away. she got mad, told him not to do that and thought it was done. it happened again 2 more times. all the while he is asking her for hugs and telling her he loves her. i told her she needs to tell his parents because this could backfire on her bigtime. i gave her an example of cammy saying one night to her parents that my girlfriend kissed aaron. how would that look especially since my girl ddn't bring it up first. i told her she would probably get fired and the police would get involved nd it would just be a big headache. well she never told the parents and things got worse. i told her if she didn't tell his parents he would get bolder and bolder and he has. 2 weeks ago he took a picture of his dick with my girls new camera phone, she gt mad and asked him "what is THIS?" then deleted it. i told her again she needs to tell his parents and she did this time. then aaron emailed me again, this time it was just a forward to all the people in his account, i wrote him bak telling him i knew everything he had done to kate, telling him i couldnt believe he woud disrespect her and me by doing this, asking what right he has, and telling him everything he's doing is immature and not something someone who is going to be a freshman next year would be doing. i never got a response but my girlfriend saw he had read it when he was on the computer one time. well, yesterday he smacked her ass while she was walking away from him. i told her he would eventually either touch her boobs or butt if she didn't get in his face about this, and he has. i dont know what to do. she seems so complacent about this because she doesnt want to talk to the parents again and she wont talk with him about it. i asked if i could call her on her phone on monday and talk to him, the same way i would talk to my little brother. i wouldn't get mad or anything but i would be direct and ask him why he is doing this, what right he has to touch her, tell him if he does it again i will tell his parents, but thats obviously not working. i told her she needs to be the aggressor here and sit him down monday afternoon and get in his face about this, telling him she does not want to be touched by him and to stop. i told her to get mad at him to show she does not approve. but she wants to wait until something else happens then do something about it. i told her she needs to take the offensive role and maybe even sit the parents and aaron down and talk with them about it. what an i do, i'm relly fucking pissed about this whole thing because he wont listen and i am not i able to make him stop myself. i feel like each time he does one of these little things he's stealing from me. i'm that jealous and protective of my girl. what should/can i do?

 

[101chemistry]

this story made my day. I'm not a relationships man myself, although I used to be, so I can understand why this is bugging you. unwanted sexual behaviour such as that can come from an adult, an old man, or a child, it's unwated, intrusive and abusive.

then again, the way I am now, I would just laugh about it. I advise you to do the same, as getting angry and jealous will only make you look less like "the man".

 

[SouthernMuscle]

you def. need to get your girl to talk to his parents and get THEM to whoop his lil ass!

Not only is this shit uncalled for and unprovoked, but it seems to me he has no social skills with women and could very posssibly grow up to be a friggin rapist, I mean the kissing thing ONCE I can see as him being a weird little kid, but all that other shit has sex offender written all over it

 

[finahulk85]

first off not trying to bash but if your girl isnt saying anything to stop it maybe he likes it. but if thats not the case and she wont tell the kids parents then she needs to quit babysittin for the family. or she needs to sit down and tell the parents she need liek another 20$ per hour for her to get sexually harassed everday by this lil punk.

 

[SouthernMuscle]

fina- come on dude, I don't know how old flex's gf is but I'm sure she's past being interested in 13 year olds

his gf is prolly having a tough time telling the parents cuz most likely it embarrasses the hell outta her

 

[jerrywear]

first off not trying to bash but if your girl isnt saying anything to stop it maybe he likes it. but if thats not the case and she wont tell the kids parents then she needs to quit babysittin for the family. or she needs to sit down and tell the parents she need liek another 20$ per hour for her to get sexually harassed everday by this lil punk.

i was thinking same way.it doesnt sounds good.he is all over her and she didnt do nothiing yet?i dont think she makeing a killing by babysiting.dont get me wrong bro,but she need to take care that thing.

 

[jerrywear]

fina- come on dude, I don't know how old flex's gf is but I'm sure she's past being interested in 13 year olds

his gf is prolly having a tough time telling the parents cuz most likely it embarrasses the hell outta her

what about the teacher and the boy? she definetly was past 13

 

[Future]

Really the responsibility is on your girlfriend. She needs to most likely stay away from the boy. since he tried kissing her once she should also have been more prepared. Allowing him to get that close to her isnt cool. She needs to use more wisdom. I would also talk to the boys parents and explain why you are choosing to distance yourself from him.

 

[SouthernMuscle]

what about the teacher and the boy? she definetly was past 13

ok, ok, but that lady was a nut and didn't have a bf her own age like flex's girl does.

let's say you've got a buddy whose got a 13 year old girl and he and his old lady wanted to go out one night and you offered to watch her, say his little girl started taking naked pictures of herself with YOUR camera phone

first of all that'd scare this shit outta me cuz what am I gonna do? go to her parents with MY camera phone and show them naked pictures of their daughter and say SHE took them? all that little girl has to do is work up some tears and say that you made her do it, then BAM! off to jail with your ass

I'm sure flex's girl is feeling the same way

 

[flexmaster]

SouthernMuscle is right on the ball. She is so embarrassed and nervous about the whole thing, it really scares her to talk to the parents about it. and she has told the mom about it, but doesn't know if shes talked with the kid. and everytime something has happened she has gotten mad at him but it just doesn't work. this kid just doesn't listen. i think she needs to take the aggressive stance and before anything else happens talk with the kid and his parents.

also, this kid is just and asshole to everyone. he kicks and hits his 8 year old sister and yells at everyone. but when mom and dad comes home he acts like a little kid. i think he really needs an older brother to kick the shi out of him every once in a while.

 

[SouthernMuscle]

I think you and her should sit down with the boy and his parents, tell her you'll do all the talking so she won't be so nervous, and then explain to the parents what's been going on and that it has to stop

if the parents ignore it after that then your girl should start looking for another job

 

[Future]

Good points.

 

[jerrywear]

ok, ok, but that lady was a nut and didn't have a bf her own age like flex's girl does.

let's say you've got a buddy whose got a 13 year old girl and he and his old lady wanted to go out one night and you offered to watch her, say his little girl started taking naked pictures of herself with YOUR camera phone

first of all that'd scare this shit outta me cuz what am I gonna do? go to her parents with MY camera phone and show them naked pictures of their daughter and say SHE took them? all that little girl has to do is work up some tears and say that you made her do it, then BAM! off to jail with your ass

I'm sure flex's girl is feeling the same way

you have a great imagination just kidding.
i dont think to bring phone with you would be a great idea.and yes thats a fuck up as it is.but she need to do something.or he will do more,he give no shit about her just to begin with.so for him its just a game,and hes going to play as long as she going to keep quit.
i am not telling her what to do,i am jus saying that the small guy know what he is doing.you know what i mean.

 

[di8kids]

She should stop babysitting for the family

The boy was told to stop. He did not listen.

The parents were told...He still did not listen.

She should stop babysitting for the family--Him taking pictures of himself on her phone just showed the utmost disrespect for her--and if she were my daughter, I would strongly suggest she quit the job before it escalates into something that it should not escalate into.

 

[flexmaster]

well i just got off the phone with her a little while ago and she says shes not gong to talk to him. this i fucking pissing me off. obviously if she doesn't do SOMETHING things will get worse, but why wait for it to come to that???

 

[Crowler]

ok, ok, but that lady was a nut and didn't have a bf her own age like flex's girl does.

let's say you've got a buddy whose got a 13 year old girl and he and his old lady wanted to go out one night and you offered to watch her, say his little girl started taking naked pictures of herself with YOUR camera phone

first of all that'd scare this shit outta me cuz what am I gonna do? go to her parents with MY camera phone and show them naked pictures of their daughter and say SHE took them? all that little girl has to do is work up some tears and say that you made her do it, then BAM! off to jail with your ass

I'm sure flex's girl is feeling the same way

What about that MARRIED woman who just recently was convicted for fooling around with a young boy.


Flexmaster you are 100% correct. I have NO idea why she is not doing what she should. She could honestly be looking at jail time or at the VERY least a REALLY embarressing situation.

I just have to say that it APPEARS she likes the attention since it has REALLY escalated. Is she without logic in other areas of life? Usaully a person is not completely without logic in one area without being the same in other areas of their life as well.

Tough situation and I don't envy you your decisions.


Good luck


CROWLER

 

[Sigmund Roid]

Much good advice from everyone.

My opinion.

Your girlfriend should handle it. Don't get involved. If she doesn't like the attention or situation she should remove herself. If the situation is unacceptable to her she should deal with it. This boy is being encouraged in behavior that might get him in real trouble down the road.

 

[BLMac]

I've worked with kids for 20 yrs now..... seen this many, many times. There are probably only 1 or 2 ways to correct this. The simplest would be to stop the deal all together, but explain why. That's very important for her to cover her ass. The second might be for her to sit with the kid and the parents at the same time and talk about it with everyone there in person. Alot of times kids know what they are doin and also know that they won't have to pay. If this kid was evil enough he could trump up a few tales and have your girl in jail. Do not handle the meeting any other way... no hidden agendas either. The kid is acting out this way to see how far it'll go. Call the cops... they are very good at advising on how to treat these types of situations. Another source is school counselors as they are very aware of the rules with these types of things.

 

[Future]

The boy was told to stop. He did not listen.

The parents were told...He still did not listen.

She should stop babysitting for the family--Him taking pictures of himself on her phone just showed the utmost disrespect for her--and if she were my daughter, I would strongly suggest she quit the job before it escalates into something that it should not escalate into.

AMEN.

 

[flexmaster]

she wont tlk to him unless something happens again. she thinks it will be awkward if she sits him down now, 4 days later, and tells him to stop. i am so pissed about the whole thing. i told her in the very beginning unless she gets serious and directly sits him down and tells him to stop things will escalate, and they have.

crowler, i have thought the same thing about maybe she likes it. i would hope not, and dont really think she does but why the hell else would she not get pissed at him? she's basically letting him do this to her? WTF!?!? i have also told her the same thing you just said, that all he would have to do is lie and say kate made him do all this shit and who is a judge going to believe?

this also makes me think if something like this happened in the future with someone older than this kid, would she come to me, or even tell me about it? she knows how pissed this makes me, and has kept things from me in the past because she knew how pissed i'd get about it. i dont get mad at her or anything like that, just at the situation and that she hid it from me. i really am clueless here.

thank you sigmund roid, i am planning to not get involved and let her take care of it, i guess whatever happens, happens.