I live in So. Cal, and started going to TJ in the mid 80's. We used to make almost weekly trips to Puerto Nuevo for lobster, shrimp, rice, and beans....I love Baja and still do. I had one minor problem in 20 years of going regularly and that was because my buddy got stupid at a checkpoint.
My wife is from TJ and has family there and in Sinaloa. We had an extended family member that was a victim of cartel related violence, she left her husband and started running around with a dealer/runner, and ended up wrapped in carpet dead outside of TJ in 2005. Her family rarely travel travels at night anymore in Baja but that is mostly due to worrying about getting their cars stolen from them. Car theft and petty theft happens with regularity to regular citizens.
I've been all over Baja and Sinaloa. The reason TOM has no problems is that he is not a tourist and knows the game. Could he be a victim of random violence? Yes, but that could happen anywhere. What the media doesn't tell you is the following: if you aren't a drug dealer, aren't related to one, and aren't related to law enforcement, it is extremely unlikely you will ever have any real problems in Mexico. The people being killed are related to the drug war in one way or another. Could you be an innocent bystander? Yes, but, once again, that could happen anywhere.
In general, I stay out of border towns, I don't like the atmosphere. But, I visit Mazatlan numerous times per year and absolutely feel safer there than in LA, even in the non-tourist zones. Mexico has many wonderful areas, and some bad ones, like anywhere. No one makes anyone go, but like TOM, I will likely retire there.
SB