Hey guys,
I've been a longtime lurker on the board and currently in a rut right now need some logic talked into me.
I have been with this girl for over a year now and we just broke up because she found me on a dating website. But let me give you the story - im 30 and shes 22.
We met at my old place of work, when i was previously dating someone for 3 years. I fell in love with her working with her and as soon as i was promoted and moved locations we started dating. She has a two year old daughter.
I love the way i feel with her and we have the best absolute best sex that ive ever had in my life. I also feel the most connected with her that ive ever felt in my life.
Here is where i have had my frustrations:
She comes from a family that has no ambition - her mom and grandma live together in the same house. Her mom is 40 and collects welfare and so does her grandma. They eat unhealthy, never exercise and never do anything to develop themselves or to learn or to grow
I have had to teach her since dating her how to clean, how to do dishes, and just basic hygiene things. For example when we first started dating she lived with her mom and grandma, and she didnt have a key to her house. I confronted her then her mom and what i got was a bunch of lies - like "we are moving out soon". They lived there for over a year if not longer so i told her why the hell dont you go to ace hardware and get a copy of a key made for your daughter for 2 dollars. I once went over to her house and she bathroom was disgusting, toilet clogged and mess around the toilet for 3 days. I ask her why she hasnt cleaned it up - she states shes waiting for the plumber. I Tell her the plumber isnt gonna clean that mold around the toilet, they will fix the clog but you have to clean up after yourself.
Last Thanksgiving i had her over to my parents, where we have all family and friends join and eat a ton (as im sure you all do). After we all eat we always sit around and have intellectual conversation about world politics/events and societal changes. Well she winded up falling asleep at the dinner table while we were all talking/listening. Now wine could have played an issue but still this was a big deal to me because ive tried to have deep conversations with her and she gets distracted or just cant listen. Or for example ill put on a movie thats somewhat educational (I.E. The big Short) and she will get bored and start playing on her phone.
Ive also taken care of her twice when shes gotten way drunk with her friends and shes winded up pissing in my bed. Which frankly not only disgusts me but scares me because she has a daughter and i love her.
Now here is the struggle, i did sign up for a dating site but that was pretty much the extent of it. I am so torn right now becuase we havent talked since monday and i love this girl more than any girl. The feeling i get when i hold her is amazing and the sex that we have is mind blowing. I literally feel like she is a part of me and thats why im so torn over all of this. I am so confused and dont know what the right thing to do is.
I left my ex for her, and my ex had her own house, her own car and we always did a ton of fun vacations and saved up for the future and i sometimes look back and regret the decision i made, but i love this girl.
I just struggle with how she will fit into my family, the fact that my parents are completely opposite of her parents (my parents are in their 70s and work every day even though they are retired, whether its reading books, playing golf or working on self development). I also get irritated because my girlfriends mom and grandma feed her fast food all day and unhealthy stuff so when she comes over to my house and i cook her and her daughter food she will just say no i want bread, or eww thats disgusting - mind you my cooking is nowhere near as clean as the majority of yours (im italian lol). And i dont want my kid being raised that way i want my kid to grow up eating somewhat healthy.
I had friends and family over at my parents on Saturday and my mom asks her to take some tomatoes, olives, and pico out of the fridge and to put them into dipping trays for chips, and then to put them back. Well she winds up putting them back in the freezer.... meanwhile my mom was up til 1am cleaning and looking for them.
Should i try to make it work with her? How do i know if shes the one, if i love her more than ive loved any other girl but theres all of these obstacles. I look at her and feel like shes mine and feel like shes a part of me, a feelin ive never felt before and thats why im so confused.
I've been a longtime lurker on the board and currently in a rut right now need some logic talked into me.
I have been with this girl for over a year now and we just broke up because she found me on a dating website. But let me give you the story - im 30 and shes 22.
We met at my old place of work, when i was previously dating someone for 3 years. I fell in love with her working with her and as soon as i was promoted and moved locations we started dating. She has a two year old daughter.
I love the way i feel with her and we have the best absolute best sex that ive ever had in my life. I also feel the most connected with her that ive ever felt in my life.
Here is where i have had my frustrations:
She comes from a family that has no ambition - her mom and grandma live together in the same house. Her mom is 40 and collects welfare and so does her grandma. They eat unhealthy, never exercise and never do anything to develop themselves or to learn or to grow
I have had to teach her since dating her how to clean, how to do dishes, and just basic hygiene things. For example when we first started dating she lived with her mom and grandma, and she didnt have a key to her house. I confronted her then her mom and what i got was a bunch of lies - like "we are moving out soon". They lived there for over a year if not longer so i told her why the hell dont you go to ace hardware and get a copy of a key made for your daughter for 2 dollars. I once went over to her house and she bathroom was disgusting, toilet clogged and mess around the toilet for 3 days. I ask her why she hasnt cleaned it up - she states shes waiting for the plumber. I Tell her the plumber isnt gonna clean that mold around the toilet, they will fix the clog but you have to clean up after yourself.
Last Thanksgiving i had her over to my parents, where we have all family and friends join and eat a ton (as im sure you all do). After we all eat we always sit around and have intellectual conversation about world politics/events and societal changes. Well she winded up falling asleep at the dinner table while we were all talking/listening. Now wine could have played an issue but still this was a big deal to me because ive tried to have deep conversations with her and she gets distracted or just cant listen. Or for example ill put on a movie thats somewhat educational (I.E. The big Short) and she will get bored and start playing on her phone.
Ive also taken care of her twice when shes gotten way drunk with her friends and shes winded up pissing in my bed. Which frankly not only disgusts me but scares me because she has a daughter and i love her.
Now here is the struggle, i did sign up for a dating site but that was pretty much the extent of it. I am so torn right now becuase we havent talked since monday and i love this girl more than any girl. The feeling i get when i hold her is amazing and the sex that we have is mind blowing. I literally feel like she is a part of me and thats why im so torn over all of this. I am so confused and dont know what the right thing to do is.
I left my ex for her, and my ex had her own house, her own car and we always did a ton of fun vacations and saved up for the future and i sometimes look back and regret the decision i made, but i love this girl.
I just struggle with how she will fit into my family, the fact that my parents are completely opposite of her parents (my parents are in their 70s and work every day even though they are retired, whether its reading books, playing golf or working on self development). I also get irritated because my girlfriends mom and grandma feed her fast food all day and unhealthy stuff so when she comes over to my house and i cook her and her daughter food she will just say no i want bread, or eww thats disgusting - mind you my cooking is nowhere near as clean as the majority of yours (im italian lol). And i dont want my kid being raised that way i want my kid to grow up eating somewhat healthy.
I had friends and family over at my parents on Saturday and my mom asks her to take some tomatoes, olives, and pico out of the fridge and to put them into dipping trays for chips, and then to put them back. Well she winds up putting them back in the freezer.... meanwhile my mom was up til 1am cleaning and looking for them.
Should i try to make it work with her? How do i know if shes the one, if i love her more than ive loved any other girl but theres all of these obstacles. I look at her and feel like shes mine and feel like shes a part of me, a feelin ive never felt before and thats why im so confused.
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