Do you put your physique before women?

[little slice]

All that is interesting, but I'm not sure that really answers the temptation aspect.

I too have been viewed as very lax, not jealous (I hide it well), not controlling. I am told on a weekly basis how I come across as very laid back and don't let things phase me. My friends in college used to call me Robo-*real name* because I would generally make very rational and objective decisions rather than letting emotion dictate what I do. (As a side note, that's probably in part why I wouldn't want to break up with my gf....she's logically a great option, though I do also emotionally love her very much).

But none of that prevents me from strongly wanting to fuck the shit out of 3 of my fellow residents and 5 girls at the gym lol. I obviously didn't do it, but I certainly want/wanted to.

my literature club friends would jokingly refer to me as "Meursalt"


when I was younger, I was one of those 'save it for marriage' Christians.. lol.

I had women proposition me, beg me, taunt/insult me, even present themselves to me

but I easily resisted, because I realized I would have been sacrificing what I wanted the most (marriage to a 'pure' virgin girl) for what I wanted in the moment.

Have you ever been cheated on? To my knowledge I have not, but I've only ever really had like 2 official girlfriends. I've been "the other guy" more times than I can remember...and have mixed thoughts about that

she's not mine, it's just my turn with her. I cannot be 'cheated on'.. my turn just simply comes to an end.


and on to the next one

 

[heavyhitter]

Have you ever been cheated on? To my knowledge I have not, but I've only ever really had like 2 official girlfriends. I've been "the other guy" more times than I can remember...and have mixed thoughts about that



I agree with both LS and HeavyHitter in their replies.

However, I would also look at it another way. I don't see it as keep the peace/cave/etc. I see it as find a woman who will generally be happy. Now of course there's no way to guarantee this lasts but another wise piece of advice from my father was to find a woman who's naturally happy and it takes a lot to make her bitchy/unhappy. There are A LOT of women whose default mode is bitchy/negative/unhappy who just have short spurts of being pleasant to be around. I have been with plenty of these women and I never remotely considered them as a good long term option, and frankly it amazes me that men out there think it's wise to be with these type of women.

Marriage aside, I agree that having a happy long term partner is huge in one's life happiness. Craziest girl I dated stressed me the fuck out for a good year and again I am not easily affected by things outside my health and family. People like that are toxic and there is generally very little that you can do to change it. Recognize it early and move on.

....best sex of my life though lol

I agree with what youre saying here....however that is not the intent behind that quote. It is essentially saying to placate your wife or shell make your life miserable. And when it came to my ex wife....this was absolutely the case

 

[Js118]

married parents are not beneficial for children. the are MUCH better off being raised by two parents who are in an equal relationship (IE unmarried), wherein the woman does not receive cash and prizes for destroying everything.

Can you provide 1 study to back this up? What about cases where the wife makes significantly more than the husband.

 

[little slice]

Can you provide 1 study to back this up? What about cases where the wife makes significantly more than the husband.

it's basic logic


how can a relationship wherein the man's head is on the chopping block at the option of the woman be better than a relationship with 2 equal partners?


cases where the wife makes significantly more than the man are rare - though they are slowly becoming more common.


what is interesting though, is in those cases, research has shown that the woman grows to resent the man's lower status.. and divorce rate is actually higher

 

[Mike Arnold]

I think you're taking a lot of it too seriously. I use a lot of self-deprecating humor. I make fun of myself. I'm not remotely attracted to an "average" woman. Not on a physical level or an emotional level or intellectual level. Here's the thing. Every day of my life, with rare exception, someone tells me I look like Goldberg. Evidently that is not a look women like. Now some grossly obese ugly women do. But I'm not attracted to them. I do not have a poor self-image.

I can wake up every day and think I'm the biggest stud on earth and I'm gorgeous. My thinking that will not convince a woman who looks at me I am in fact those things. I do online dating because its the only way for me to meet a woman. Problem is not one single woman ever responds back. Now is it because I haven't said or written some magical words down. Or is it just a plain matter of fact that she looks at my face and my body and just doesn't find it appealing so she's not going to waste her time talking to me. I sure as hell wouldn't send a message to a woman I don't think looks good.

Recognizing basic simple truths does not mean I have a poor self-image. Lets face it most people are not "good-looking". Most people are ugly. Does that mean not a single woman on earth thinks I am good-looking? No of course not. But good-looking people tend to be with good-looking people and ugly people with ugly people. If I went on dates on a somewhat regular basis with women I found attractive but they never went anywhere. Then I would do some introspection and really take a look at myself and ask "is something wrong with me on a deeper level". That is what any emotionally/intellectually mature person would do. Which I would. But I never get to the point of either needing to do introspection or not. Because there just simply is never a single attractive woman interested.

Believe me I'd love for the issue to be something as fixable and simple as just working on my self-image or self-esteem or confidence. You can ask my one ex-girlfriend, who I am still very good friends with today, and she will tell you I am the most confidant, self-assured person she has ever met.

I must look similar to you (people also tell me I look like Goldberg--not daily, but at least 10-12 times over the years), but it's never affected me. My appearance (bald, caveman features, etc) has affected first impressions--because they think I look "scary", so they are rarely the initiators, but that's an easy misconception to break. After that it has never kept women away.

There's a lot I could say here, but I am not a psychologist, so I will just leave it at that.

 

[heavyhitter]

I must look similar to you (people also tell me I look like Goldberg--not daily, but at least 10-12 times over the years), but it's never affected me. My appearance (bald, caveman features, etc) has affected first impressions--because they think I look "scary", so they are rarely the initiators, but that's an easy misconception to break. After that it has never kept women away.

There's a lot I could say here, but I am not a psychologist, so I will just leave it at that.

Im in the same boat Mike....im not an ugly guy...but there's plenty out there much better looking than me. Add to that im 6'1'' and around 245ish typically and covered in tattoos. People tend to tell me I look aggressive or mean as well until they meet me. That said...when I was doing the whole online dating thing....I was surprised by the amount and the quality of the tail that I was pulling. And I seemed to get the most attention from women when I was at my largest of around 265. Now a good amount of this attention was also from fat Linda black eye makeup tattoo biker chicks. They like a bigger aggressive looking guy to take some attention from themselves....but man I got a lot of hot little petite chicks too. You just have to play the odds and separate the wheat from the chaff. So to the guy saying chicks don't talk to him cause he looks like Goldberg....it isn't your looks. Its the way your online profile is set up, or the way you contact them initially, or something

 

[Mike Arnold]

Well, if you are a really big muscular guy like Goldberg most women do not find that attractive these days, at least the younger ones don't. My wife used to tell me I was getting too big when I put on more muscle.

I think also some women are intimidated/scared of big guys until they get to really meet them0
Exactly. I do think there is a point where being too big will hurt the person's chances (think national-level/pro bodybuilder size), but even then it is easily overcome after they get to speak with him...assuming the man actually does have something to offer outside of his physique. Aside from that, I don't think being very large (say 6 foot, 260 lbs) is going to hurt one's chances at all...if the man is willing to pursue the woman. Most women are just intimidated...and think that WE wouldn't be interested in them. When they see a tall, large, in-shape guy they automatically think we are looking for a great looking girl in great shape, simply because we put a good deal of time into our own bodies. I've spoken to MANY women who have told me that. They say they never would have approached me for that reason. They think they are going to get shot down...and that I have a huge ego...until they speak to me.

Not sure what to make out of the online dating girls not even replying to you. That is strange IMO. Ive never done that though. My buddy I mentioned before dated quite a few women that way and two he has married.
I'm not sure what to say about that either, but one thing I would NOT suggest is posting a bunch of most musculars all over one's profile page. Focus on things OTHER than one's physique. Maybe have one semi-revealing pic in there, but don't talk about it. Talk about OTHER things. IMO, one of the worst things someone could do is talk too much about bodybuilding while posting a bunch of shirtless pics all over the place. Whether the man is national-level size, or simply in very good shape, doing this will work against him.

When a man does that, he not only says he's shallow, but he is MORE likely to attract those women he doesn't want (i.e. obese, facially unattractive, etc). These women either won't care if the man is superficial (because their options are limited) or they have a mentality that says "fuck it, what do I have to lose?"...and are LESS likely to be intimidated by such men. High quality, good looking women are less likely to be interested in men that they assume (wrongly or not) have little to offer outside of their bodies.

....

 

[Mike Arnold]

Im in the same boat Mike....im not an ugly guy...but there's plenty out there much better looking than me. Add to that im 6'1'' and around 245ish typically and covered in tattoos. People tend to tell me I look aggressive or mean as well until they meet me. That said...when I was doing the whole online dating thing....I was surprised by the amount and the quality of the tail that I was pulling. And I seemed to get the most attention from women when I was at my largest of around 265. Now a good amount of this attention was also from fat Linda black eye makeup tattoo biker chicks. They like a bigger aggressive looking guy to take some attention from themselves....but man I got a lot of hot little petite chicks too. You just have to play the odds and separate the wheat from the chaff.

So to the guy saying chicks don't talk to him cause he looks like Goldberg....it isn't your looks. Its the way your online profile is set up, or the way you contact them initially, or something
EXACTLY! There has to be something else going on there. There is no way that just being big or looking like Goldberg should be causing him to get no response from high quality women.

....

 

[maldorf]

Yeah.... I got a guy local to me that services all of mine. I was surprised as I'm usually in the same boat as you....pay for it myself. But she really put some effort out.

I'm lucky though in that she doesn't usually discourage me in decisions. It's like the other day I mentioned about selling my C6 Z06 and upgrading to a C7.......and she said you work hard and if that is what you really want...go for it.

So now I'm seriously considering it!



Sent from my LG-H871 using Tapatalk

That is great. My wife wasn't exactly excited about me spending the money on the 911 turbo but she supported me. Now every year I spend more on it upgrading the performance. Havent gotten too much resistance.

 

[Mike Arnold]

it's basic logic


how can a relationship wherein the man's head is on the chopping block at the option of the woman be better than a relationship with 2 equal partners?


cases where the wife makes significantly more than the man are rare - though they are slowly becoming more common.


what is interesting though, is in those cases, research has shown that the woman grows to resent the man's lower status.. and divorce rate is actually higher

I understand your point of view, Little Slice. If situations where the man earns more, brought more into the relationship (home, etc), and/or has children with them, the man does indeed have a LOT to lose.

However, when both earn about the same (or if the gap isn't too large), bring a similar amount of assets into the marriage (or the gap isn't too large) and no children are brought into the picture, it doesn't really matter that much (in most cases).

Having children changes everything, as the woman usually ends up with the kids...unless she can be proven unfit, which is very hard to do when she is indeed fit. In Ohio, where I live, the woman AUTOMATICALLY assumes custody of the children in the event of a divorce...and the man can only gain custody is he fights for it and wins. This is a HORRIBLE situation to be in.

Also, earning a LOT more changes everything. If I were to get divorced now, I would be FUCKED. I don't have children with my current wife, but I do own two companies and will be adding a 3rd soon. Even if the court allowed me to maintain control of the companies (very possible), I would end up paying a lot of money for a very long time.

Fortunately, I don't think we will ever divorce, as we have been together 10 years and are both adamantly against divorce for multiple reasons.

 

[heavyhitter]

Well, if you are a really big muscular guy like Goldberg most women do not find that attractive these days, at least the younger ones don't. My wife used to tell me I was getting too big when I put on more muscle.

I think also some women are intimidated/scared of big guys until they get to really meet them0
Exactly. I do think there is a point where being too big will hurt the person's chances (think national-level/pro bodybuilder size), but even then it is easily overcome after they get to speak with him...assuming the man actually does have something to offer outside of his physique. Aside from that, I don't think being very large (say 6 foot, 260 lbs) is going to hurt one's chances at all...if the man is willing to pursue the woman. Most women are just intimidated...and think that WE wouldn't be interested in them. When they see a tall, large, in-shape guy they automatically think we are looking for a great looking girl in great shape, simply because we put a good deal of time into our own bodies. I've spoken to MANY women who have told me that. They say they never would have approached me for that reason. They think they are going to get shot down...and that I have a huge ego...until they speak to me.

Not sure what to make out of the online dating girls not even replying to you. That is strange IMO. Ive never done that though. My buddy I mentioned before dated quite a few women that way and two he has married.
I'm not sure what to say about that either, but one thing I would NOT suggest is posting a bunch of most musculars all over one's profile page. Focus on things OTHER than one's physique. Maybe have one semi-revealing pic in there, but don't talk about it. Talk about OTHER things. IMO, one of the worst things someone could do is talk too much about bodybuilding while posting a bunch of shirtless pics all over the place. Whether the man is national-level size, or simply in very good shape, doing this will work against him.

When a man does that, he not only says he's shallow, but he is MORE likely to attract those women he doesn't want (i.e. obese, facially unattractive, etc). These women either won't care if the man is superficial (because their options are limited) or they have a mentality that says "fuck it, what do I have to lose?"...and are LESS likely to be intimidated by such men. High quality, good looking women are less likely to be interested in men that they assume (wrongly or not) have little to offer outside of their bodies.

Exactly this Mike!! Girls assume a big muscular guy is full of himself and is a jerk. So don't project that image. I only had one shirtless pic on my profile so that I could show of my physique that I worked really hard to build....but it was a picture of me on the beach playing with my 2 year old(at the time) daughter. And that pic alone pulled a tone of chicks for me. I cant tell you how many comments I got about " wow, its nice to see a big tattooed guy like that taking care of and having fun with his kids"

 

[maldorf]

Exactly this Mike!! Girls assume a big muscular guy is full of himself and is a jerk. So don't project that image. I only had one shirtless pic on my profile so that I could show of my physique that I worked really hard to build....but it was a picture of me on the beach playing with my 2 year old(at the time) daughter. And that pic alone pulled a tone of chicks for me. I cant tell you how many comments I got about " wow, its nice to see a big tattooed guy like that taking care of and having fun with his kids"

Yeah, great point. I imagine it is really nothing more than marketing 101. You have to market yourself. Having a picture with your 2 year old was really smart. Not only will it attract a lot of women because they see you as a good guy but it will also filter out the women that aren't looking for any baggage. I am glad that Im not looking for a relationship now. It sounds tough out there! I was only doing it while I was in college and it comes so easy there. It is the perfect environment IMO.

 

[little slice]

let there be no mistake.


tens of thousands of women are getting SO much attention and affirmation through social media - amounts which were previously reserved for celebrities


...from hundreds of thousands of men.. every..single..day


and they do not think the party will ever end.


when these women get old, and the attention shifts to the next generation... preparest thyself and thy kin, for the hour draws nigh.



it will be the great reckoning of our time





verily i say unto thee, any women who have ears to hear.


seek ye a kind and virtuous man now in thy youth


for the years of plenty will come to an end, but the years of famine continue unto oblivion


bindeth thy flesh to his flesh, and become one.



because you're about to get ashy as fuck

 

[heavyhitter]

Yeah, great point. I imagine it is really nothing more than marketing 101. You have to market yourself. Having a picture with your 2 year old was really smart. Not only will it attract a lot of women because they see you as a good guy but it will also filter out the women that aren't looking for any baggage. I am glad that Im not looking for a relationship now. It sounds tough out there! I was only doing it while I was in college and it comes so easy there. It is the perfect environment IMO.

Hell ya its rough man. I married my first wife when I was 20. She was my first really serious girlfriend and the first woman id ever slept with. Wen we got divorced here I was a 31 year old guy...pretty much no dating experience....and I hadn't had to ask a woman out in like 12 years. I had pretty low expectations. Turns out....I do a hell of a lot better than I expected. Some of the women I met were waaaay out of my league and I don't know how I managed it. Easy too. Online dating is nuts. There were literally days where I would meet up with 4-6 different women for sex,drinks or just to hang out or whatever. It got to be a pain in the ass trying to juggle it all or remember who I had talked to about what. and again....im really an average looking guy. I have a pretty good physique that women seem interested in....but facially im really like a 6-7

 

[maldorf]

let there be no mistake.


tens of thousands of women are getting SO much attention and affirmation through social media - amounts which were previously reserved for celebrities


...from hundreds of thousands of men.. every..single..day


and they do not think the party will ever end.


when these women get old, and the attention shifts to the next generation... preparest thyself and thy kin, for the hour draws nigh.



it will be the great reckoning of our time





verily i say unto thee, any women who have ears to hear.


seek ye a kind and virtuous man now in thy youth


for the years of plenty will come to an end, but the years of famine will not

You don't think there are men doing the same thing? I don't follow social media crap, heck I don't even have a facebook account, so I don't really know.

It seems logical though that it goes both ways. I agree that it will be interesting to see what that generation will do once they get older and cant draw the audience they once did. They will have to come up with other ways to draw a crowd.

 

[little slice]

You don't think there are men doing the same thing? I don't follow social media crap, heck I don't even have a facebook account, so I don't really know.

It seems logical though that it goes both ways. I agree that it will be interesting to see what that generation will do once they get older and cant draw the audience they once did. They will have to come up with other ways to draw a crowd.

the logic would follow, yes.


however, women value different things in men than men do in women, generally speaking.


-women desire a man who is attractive (very often unrealistically so), kind, a good provider, has status, etc.

-men desire a woman who looks decent, and isn't a bitch.



so while a woman's beauty fades, a man's net worth is increasing (assuming he has any degree of success in his career).

the pendulum shifts.


and men generally have much more in terms of options regarding anti-aging.. E.G. aas

 

[maldorf]

-men desire a woman who looks decent, and isn't a bitch.

so while a woman's beauty fades, a man's net worth is increasing (assuming he has any degree of success in his career).

the pendulum shifts.

I guess I don't fit the mold because I never looked at women like that. I demand a lot more out of a woman that I am attracted to.

In my case it is the woman whose net worth is increasing with age. I think it is all based on how you pick them. If you are only looking at women that "look decent and aren't a bitch" then youre going to have some issues later on. Need to have a much broader set of requirements.

 

[little slice]

I guess I don't fit the mold because I never looked at women like that. I demand a lot more out of a woman that I am attracted to.

In my case it is the woman whose net worth is increasing with age. I think it is all based on how you pick them. If you are only looking at women that "look decent and aren't a bitch" then youre going to have some issues later on. Need to have a much broader set of requirements.

can we nominate Maldorf to be PM's 'Honorary Boomer'?

 

[maldorf]

can we nominate Maldorf to be PM's 'Honorary Boomer'?

Gen X baby!

 

[little slice]

Gen X baby!

that's why I said 'honorary'