any advice on regaining self esteem?

[saint808]

learning to stand on my own again?

 

[alpha-longhorn]

bro, who the fuck will you lean on if you can't stand up by yourself?

I mean, you've only got this life time to prove you are THE MAN... Times get tough and things happen, but how can you ever doubt yourself? Somebody handed you some serious gifts and talents, all you have to do is discover them and use them to your advantage right?

Find out what you do best, and keep doing it better than everyone else. WHen you are better than everyone else at ONE thing, you will feel much more confident that you are the only one who can do it

 

[lynx]

Hi Saint! Has something happened in your life? Why is your self-esteem in the gutter? We need some more info.

 

[Sigmund Roid]

Hello, Saint! I do have some ideas.

Most people have at times dealt with self esteem problems. [Especially bodybuilders!] Please don't feel like you are the any different in this regard.

Here is a behavioral method that works wonders. It is called reverse role playing. The way it works is to figure out what self defeating beliefs you have. [In other words the negative shit you keep saying to yourself over and over]

Here are some examples of irrational beliefs some people hold: "I absolutely have to get big and lean or I am a fat worthless piece of shit". Thinking like that is self defeating. Why? Because thinking like that might indeed motivate you to exercise and eat clean for a while, but doing so will make you so nervous and anxious about NOT succeeding that you will do relatively poorly! Plus, even when you ARE doing well, you will worry about doing worse in the future and NOT enjoy your achievements! Do you see what a viscious cycle thinking like that can become? Wicked, my brother. What I am proposing that you do is take hold of your thinking. The reverse role playing works and helps you to teach yourself ways of challenging your thinking.

How in the hell does it work? Well, you get a friend or a group [like here] and tell them ONE of your irrational beliefs. Like the one I mentioned above: ' I absolutely have to get big and lean or I am a fat, worthless piece of shit"....You instruct your friend to adopt this belief and rigidly, powerfully, and hold onto this belief while you try to get him to give it up. Your partner won't give it up. No go! Your partner won't relent, and gives you great practice in actively and vigorously disputing your own dysfunctional belief system! As you practice Disputing VERY FORCEFULLY and persistently, you really see how crazy some of your ideas are, observe how strongly and ridiculously you cling to them, and learn how you can finally let go of them! The shit really works, Saint! If you are working in a group you can have onlookers suggest more effective ways of Disputing your partners self defeating beliefs [which are really your own] We can even do it right here if you felt like sharing one or more of the negative ways you are thinking with some of your friends on Promuscle. Get a couple of them to post some of the shit you are thinking [negative, self defeating thoughts] and you practice disputing those ideas! It could actually be fun! Let me know what you think, and remember, it's only one suggestion!

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