After going through the thread, I don't have much add. You either accept the notion that anything that stimulates the pleasure and reward centers of the brain associated with satisfaction can be addictive... or you don't accept it.
For those of us that accept it, it's not a stretch to believe that just like any other stimuli, whether it be cocaine, heroin, food, sex, work, addictions generally require a continually higher degree of stimuli; more cocaine, more alcohol, more food, more sex, whatever. Regarding pornography, this could conceivably manifest itself in a number of ways. It could be simply more pornography or it could be requiring porn of a more obscene and graphic nature. In monogamous relationships, I think it can only do harm and never be beneficial. Harmful in that the viewer is "engaging" with the film in the sense that the viewer is locked in with the actors in such a way that ultimately, there is significant reward and satisfaction (an orgasm). In my OPINION, this is infidelity. Now, that's my opinion, which obviously can not be scientifically proven. From my point of view, if you've masturbated yourself to orgasm along with an actor/actress in full view and still think you're faithful to your wife, you're kidding yourself. Now, it's nothing to hate yourself for because it's perfectly natural. But just because it's natural, doesn't mean it's beneficial to you or your marriage. Eating a candy bar may be natural but it certainly isn't beneficial.
Each and every one of you must decide FOR YOURSELVES what you think is right and what is wrong. Trust your instincts. I truly believe, with healthy persons, you'll find more often than not that if you really, REALLY look at what you're doing (your behavior), you'll recognize good behaviors from bad behaviors. I would go so far as to say that the fate of the world depends on all of us doing just that. I say that to stress the importance of it.
To the OP, I can only say that I would recommend you avoid artificial sexual stimulation for a time. Take a break from all of it. As just a suggestion, I may even also say that you might consider abstaining from all sexual activity for a short time. As evolved creatures we MUST begin to find some discipline in our behavior. There is nothing wrong with fasting from sex for an amount of time in order to gain some mastery over your body's desires. Speak to and talk to your wife gently and lovingly about this topic. Explain what you are trying to do. She may even join with you when she understands the logic of it.
There is very little research in these areas and almost all of what you will read is opinion. What I just wrote is opinion.
Not to mention, what is more desirable than your nude wife lying next to you that you CAN'T touch?
To the other person that asked about my residency here... in a former life, yes. Today, I want you all to just think of me as me. Titles mean nothing.
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