Wife is so pissed about my DVD's...

[bigpaparn]

i went out and bought her a frickin laptop for mothers day to get off my nuts......shit i'm turning 40..i guess some things will never change
but i get to keep my dvd's..

 

[HOTROCKS]

Ok !
Is this a question or a statement ?

 

[notsobig32]

i went out and bought her a frickin laptop for mothers day to get off my nuts......shit i'm turning 40..i guess some things will never change
but i get to keep my dvd's..

Lol, bribery will get you everywhere Personally i don;t think anyone other than you should know about your movie viewing choices BUT when you are married and sharing a bank account etc, this becomes a little harder to make work effectively.

 

[Pharm_Fed]

If it makes her mad, then don't buy them. Is it worth it to upset the person who loves you?

With as many threads as there are about people breaking up/getting divorced because bodybuilding became a problem, I'm surprised some people haven't learned from others' mistakes.

 

[The Transformer]

the same way you start is the same way you finish

 

[EasyEJL]

If it makes her mad, then don't buy them. Is it worth it to upset the person who loves you?

With as many threads as there are about people breaking up/getting divorced because bodybuilding became a problem, I'm surprised some people haven't learned from others' mistakes.

So you should subjugate all pieces of your own personality and all your desires because it upsets your partner? I guess I would if I had a partner who would do the same for me, but otherwise i'd rather be who I am, and have her be who she is, and work out the details to meet in the middle somewhere whether it involves buying her laptops or purses or jewelery, or letting her pick where to vacation, or helping one of her friends move. Cause by the same token she does the same as well....

 

[HOTROCKS]

She is your wife and not your priest.
No where is it written that a man must tell his wife everything.
When doing anything illegal it is always best to keep all info to yourself.
The less they know about these things the better.
It also protects them somewhat.

You don’t have to lie , just don’t tell them .
SILENCE MEANS SECURITY
Loose lips sink ships

With as many threads as there are about people breaking up/getting divorced because bodybuilding became a problem, I'm surprised some people haven't learned from others' mistakes.

It has nothing to do with Bodybuilding .
We are a small part of the world around us .
These people would have gotten a divorce if one collected beanie babies .
It has everything to do with communication.

 

[Pharm_Fed]

So you should subjugate all pieces of your own personality and all your desires because it upsets your partner? I guess I would if I had a partner who would do the same for me, but otherwise i'd rather be who I am, and have her be who she is, and work out the details to meet in the middle somewhere whether it involves buying her laptops or purses or jewelery, or letting her pick where to vacation, or helping one of her friends move. Cause by the same token she does the same as well....

Nowhere did I say you should anything about subjugating all of yourself. A marriage is all about compromise. Do you have no give up or alter everything you enjoy doing? No. But, do you get to do everything you want regardless of how it effects your S.O.? No. You have to find a middle ground.

She is your wife and not your priest.
No where is it written that a man must tell his wife everything.
When doing anything illegal it is always best to keep all info to yourself.
The less they know about these things the better.
It also protects them somewhat.

You don’t have to lie , just don’t tell them .
SILENCE MEANS SECURITY
Loose lips sink ships



It has nothing to do with Bodybuilding .
We are a small part of the world around us .
These people would have gotten a divorce if one collected beanie babies .
It has everything to do with communication.

I agree and disagree with this. If I were to do something like that behind my wife's back, and she found out later or something happened where I had no choice but to tell her, it would be much worse than it would have been to talk about it with her in the first place. Maybe I'm just lucky, but I know if we were to have a serious discussion, and it was important enough, she would most likely agree, albeit reluctantly perhaps.


As far as the second part, whether it be bodybuilding or beanie babies, the point I was trying to make was that it became a problem when the hobby became more important than significant other/family/friends etc. If it upsets your wife, and basically say, 'I don't care that it makes you sad/mad, I'm going to do it anyway because I want to.', how many times is that going to go over before there's another, ''I just got a divorce" thread?

But I digress. Perhaps I'm still young and naive, my wedding isn't until July 25 this year, so I'm not even married yet and at only 25 years old, I probably still have a lot to learn, but those are just my $.02 on the subject.

 

[EasyEJL]

As far as the second part, whether it be bodybuilding or beanie babies, the point I was trying to make was that it became a problem when the hobby became more important than significant other/family/friends etc. If it upsets your wife, and basically say, 'I don't care that it makes you sad/mad, I'm going to do it anyway because I want to.', how many times is that going to go over before there's another, ''I just got a divorce" thread?

But I digress. Perhaps I'm still young and naive, my wedding isn't until July 25 this year, so I'm not even married yet and at only 25 years old, I probably still have a lot to learn, but those are just my $.02 on the subject.

Well, yeah, you have a lot to learn the problem is trying to say a hobby is more important than a spouse because that hobby upsets them. If its reasonable within the bounds of marriage vows (ie you aren't shooting pornos), and you still devote time and energy to the relationship then the spouse is the one with a problem of being upset by nothing. Is it right for a woman to have 16 pairs of shoes or 10 purses? Should my wife be considered to be be saying 'I don't care that it makes you sad/mad, I'm going to do it anyway because I want to." when she's looking in a louis vuitton or prada store at more purses? no, it only becomes a problem if she withdraws money that was meant to be a car payment or mortgage payment, and the spending on her "hobby" oustrips the ability of us to pay for it. Or if the $ that goes into her hobby /collecting is far greater than what is able to go into mine because its already been spent by her. Compromising on a gear purchase by making a laptop purchase for her sounds like a reasonable tradeoff, and the essence of compromising

 

[Pharm_Fed]

Well, yeah, you have a lot to learn the problem is trying to say a hobby is more important than a spouse because that hobby upsets them. If its reasonable within the bounds of marriage vows (ie you aren't shooting pornos), and you still devote time and energy to the relationship then the spouse is the one with a problem of being upset by nothing. Is it right for a woman to have 16 pairs of shoes or 10 purses? Should my wife be considered to be be saying 'I don't care that it makes you sad/mad, I'm going to do it anyway because I want to." when she's looking in a louis vuitton or prada store at more purses? no, it only becomes a problem if she withdraws money that was meant to be a car payment or mortgage payment, and the spending on her "hobby" oustrips the ability of us to pay for it. Or if the $ that goes into her hobby /collecting is far greater than what is able to go into mine because its already been spent by her. Compromising on a gear purchase by making a laptop purchase for her sounds like a reasonable tradeoff, and the essence of compromising

I see what you're saying and agree to an extent. However, there are issues other than money at stake when discussing gear. There are also medical, and legal ramifications. I doubt your wife will disturb her natural hormone production or get arrested for buying that LV purse I get your analogy though.

I dunno, maybe my fiance and I just have a different kind of relationship. I know that if she were doing something illegal, and potentially hazardous to her health without even consulting me about it first, I would be upset. I just think it's fair to give her the same respect.

 

[EasyEJL]

I think you are right tho, we are closer to agreeing than disagreeing yes, she has a right to input, but in your 40s, already having had all the children you are going to have there are no serious health risks. Remember that there were less than 10 emergency room visits due to steroids in 2006 nationwide in the US. There were more visits due to multivitamins or just about anything else you can think of. Alcohol + tobacco are far far far more medically dangerous. She has likely had worse risks based on which birth control she's used The legal ramifications are there though, thats for sure. No way around that other than finding a nice friendly HRT doctor.

 

[abolish the weak]

Sit down with her and watch Bigger, Faster,Stronger. It'll totally change her perception, great movie and very informative

 

[Pharm_Fed]

I think you are right tho, we are closer to agreeing than disagreeing yes, she has a right to input, but in your 40s, already having had all the children you are going to have there are no serious health risks. Remember that there were less than 10 emergency room visits due to steroids in 2006 nationwide in the US. There were more visits due to multivitamins or just about anything else you can think of. Alcohol + tobacco are far far far more medically dangerous. She has likely had worse risks based on which birth control she's used The legal ramifications are there though, thats for sure. No way around that other than finding a nice friendly HRT doctor.

In your 40's you're right, there are less risks. For me, I'm most worried about not being able to have kids. If I were to do something to mess that up my fiance and I would both be devastated. The risk may not be great, but it is still there.

Sit down with her and watch Bigger, Faster,Stronger. It'll totally change her perception, great movie and very informative

I have watched that with my fiance, and have seen it myself three times. That is definitely a great movie.

 

[Nikopapp]

Well, yeah, you have a lot to learn the problem is trying to say a hobby is more important than a spouse because that hobby upsets them. If its reasonable within the bounds of marriage vows (ie you aren't shooting pornos), and you still devote time and energy to the relationship then the spouse is the one with a problem of being upset by nothing. Is it right for a woman to have 16 pairs of shoes or 10 purses? Should my wife be considered to be be saying 'I don't care that it makes you sad/mad, I'm going to do it anyway because I want to." when she's looking in a louis vuitton or prada store at more purses? no, it only becomes a problem if she withdraws money that was meant to be a car payment or mortgage payment, and the spending on her "hobby" oustrips the ability of us to pay for it. Or if the $ that goes into her hobby /collecting is far greater than what is able to go into mine because its already been spent by her. Compromising on a gear purchase by making a laptop purchase for her sounds like a reasonable tradeoff, and the essence of compromising

You must not be married.
You don't understand what it is to really love someone, and have that person be your best friend as well.
Would you be ok if your GF or wife decided to do illegal rec drugs behind your back and not tell you?
Well, in many ways, using AAS and keeping it a secret from your wife is the same thing.
I sure as hell wouldn't be happy if I found out my wife was putting illegal, underground lab substances in her body without telling me.
Who would?
Furthermore, if you're sneaking around illegal substances behind your significant others' back, where does it end?
Do unto others as you would unto yourself.

 

[oldfella]

If you were watching your dvd's prior to hooking up with her then you should have told her about them when the question arose and said I have been doing this before I ever met you and you still fell in love with me. SO why is it a problem now? See where this goes. Marriage is about communication and understanding. Not about bribery, although this method does have it's merits! LOL

 

[EasyEJL]

You must not be married.
You don't understand what it is to really love someone, and have that person be your best friend as well.
Would you be ok if your GF or wife decided to do illegal rec drugs behind your back and not tell you?
Well, in many ways, using AAS and keeping it a secret from your wife is the same thing.
I sure as hell wouldn't be happy if I found out my wife was putting illegal, underground lab substances in her body without telling me.
Who would?
Furthermore, if you're sneaking around illegal substances behind your significant others' back, where does it end?
Do unto others as you would unto yourself.

Married 14 years, 3 kids. I think you are mixing up whose response is what, as I never said anything about keeping anything secret. Just that his wife being upset at his use is "normal", my wife does things that upset me, I do things that upset her. That you upset your spouse is part of the give and take of a relationship. Its not realistic to expect that all actions of yours are exactly the actions your spouse wants. If the original poster's wife said "its me or the dvds" then thats one thing, but apparently getting some $ spent to fill one of her desires was enough of a comprise for her to allow her husbands desires...

Totally agree with not keeping it secret though, my wife knows in general if not much of the details.She'd rather not know details.

 

[The Booger]

My girlfriend has no idea I use, nor does she need to know. I could be out partying like a rock star, smoking out all the time like my friends, etc. But I picked something that is *maybe* healthier (ok, definitely is compared to the drinking I used to do) instead.

She did catch a bottle of B12 I used using with a syringe, thankfully I was able to explain it away. I asked her how else I was going to get the B12 out to drink it. That worked. She's sort of clueless with a lot of things in life....but whatever. I love her.

She absolutely HATES my aquariums, but as I told her. What else would you rather have me spend money on? It keeps me calm and out of her hair.

 

[Drbnmi]

i went out and bought her a frickin laptop for mothers day to get off my nuts......shit i'm turning 40..i guess some things will never change
but i get to keep my dvd's..

I found as long as I pay attention to my wife, spend time with my kids, and provide for my family, I can buy as many DVD's as I want. As long as she is happy, I am happy. If she is not happy, my life is miserable. Or maybe she just don't care what I do to myself. I haven't figured that out yet. Honestly, I don't care. As long as she doesn't nag me about the DVD's.

 

[Drbnmi]

My girlfriend has no idea I use, nor does she need to know. I could be out partying like a rock star, smoking out all the time like my friends, etc. But I picked something that is *maybe* healthier (ok, definitely is compared to the drinking I used to do) instead.

She did catch a bottle of B12 I used using with a syringe, thankfully I was able to explain it away. I asked her how else I was going to get the B12 out to drink it. That worked. She's sort of clueless with a lot of things in life....but whatever. I love her.

She absolutely HATES my aquariums, but as I told her. What else would you rather have me spend money on? It keeps me calm and out of her hair.

Isn't that funny. We train, eat well, and use performance enhancing supplements, and we are bad. If we go out after work and drink and smoke weed, then were cool like everyone else. I don't get it.

 

[therecanonlybe1]

Isn't that funny. We train, eat well, and use performance enhancing supplements, and we are bad. If we go out after work and drink and smoke weed, then were cool like everyone else. I don't get it.

i guess in the end because we are human and not perfect...but the disclipline is what divides the pro's and the wanna be's