Need some help...

trig · Apr 4, 2008

Never used the counseling forum before, but I need some advice and there are some level headed, smart folks on this forum and I value everyone's opinion.

So, I coach a U-12 girls Soccer team (my daughter's team). My assistant coach showed up to our game the other day smelling like alcohol. I did not realize this until after the game when a ref and 2 parents pointed it out. I went up, shook his hand and got close enough (it didn't take much) to check it out and sure enough, he smelled like he had been hitting it pretty good before the game. Let me say, I'll have a drink from time to time, so I don't have a problem with that. I do have a problem with him 1) portraying that image of my team and our girls 2) coming to an event where he is responsible for the well-being of 14 11 & 12 year olds in that condition and 3) having that little respect for me or what we are doing to show up in that condition.
Keep in mind, these girls are 11 & 12, they are old enough to know what's going on.
Of course the ref let the Ref's coordinator know who let the board know, luckily I had already begun an email thread with the Coach's coordinator about how to handle the situation, so I wasn't trying to hide it from them. The board has left the final decision to me, but I am torn between letting him know he is on thin ice and just getting rid of him. If I "fire" him as coach, they are going to pull his Coach's license, so one of my concerns is if I let it go with an ass chewing, what will he do if he starts his own team and there is no one there to "supervise" him?

On the one hand, he puts alot of effort into the team and appears to really care about the girls, on the other his lack of judgment and respect really pisses me off and makes me want to kick his ass off my practice field.

Any advice?
Thanks in advance.

Coach Trig (Pissed off at stupidity by other people)

Edit: Before anyone asks, I didn't say anything after the game because I needed to talk to the Coach's Coordinator and find out what my available actions were according to our bylaws and our state organization bylaws.

gettnlarge01 · Apr 4, 2008

I wouldn't be suprised if the parents ask him to step down as a coach. He should have more respect for the girls on the team than to do something like that. My girl has played soccer for going on 9yrs and if something like that was to happen I would either pull her from the team or he would have to go. My 2 cents

inky-e · Apr 4, 2008

I'd give him a warning,if it happens again he's gone.Unless someone else in authority steps in first and axes him.good luck!

hotttsauce · Apr 4, 2008

Something you might want to take into account is, is he driving there? If so, is he transporting children? When he is pulling in the parking lot (like at most kid functions) there are kids running around everywhere, right?

You probably shouldn't have to burden yourself alone with making the decision. In most cases, it is not a one time incident. Take it to the parents for a meeting. Just seems the risk of harm outweighs anything else in my opinion.

oldfella · Apr 5, 2008

OH this is cut and dry.....you must confront him and ask him if he has a problem! If he says yes he must go to rehab, aa or something else to dry out, until then he cannot be in charge of children, there are huge legal implications here and if you are aware of the situation and do not act then he will take you down with him. You have to intervene, you have no choice. We are talking about children, and female children at that. He has to be made aware that he must correct this situation immediately.

Air Supply · Apr 5, 2008

Simple, let him know that there have been alot of complaint of him smelling like booze. Let him know that this isn't the time or place for it. Drinking around little girls, common dude.

More than likely, he'll kindly agree and that will be the end of it.

trig · Apr 5, 2008

Decision made...

Thanks for all your input. The more I thought about it the more I realized that I didn't really have a choice. I thought about it from a parent's point of view, at that point I realized that it's in the best interest of the girls to get rid of him.